


The Lost Boys Of Boseong

by Dayun



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Police, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Murder Mystery, Psychologists & Psychiatrists, Thriller, bc I love my 97 line, please note that the yuwin is onesided, slight jaewin
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-22
Updated: 2019-05-18
Packaged: 2019-08-06 03:18:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 3
Words: 24,987
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16380395
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dayun/pseuds/Dayun
Summary: Eight years ago the murder of the Huang family shocked the county of Boseong. The parents and the two smallest children were found dead in the living room, though the body of the eldest son was missing. After a year long search the boy had been declared dead and the case of 'The Lost Boy Of Boseong' was laid cold, the killer never found. Now eight years later another murder happened and the case has been reopened.





	1. end of a day

 

_The comforting scent of tea fields and cedar woods, the sound of  feet softly stepping onto moss and leaves, a melodious voice –_

_“Jaemin-ah”_

Brown eyes snap open to the blaring sound of an alarm. With an annoyed grumble it’s shut off before he rubs his temples while trying to calm his beating heart down. It had been a long time since he last had a dream, especially one so vivid yet blurry like he was swimming through thick fog, and he wonders if it is because he came back. Back to his hometown, back to Boseong.

His suitcase and things still lay mostly unpacked around his new flat as he made his way to the bathroom, only the most necessary things neatly put into their new place. One glance at the bathroom mirror is enough for Jaemin to decide that yes, he might need to use some concealer today if he doesn’t want to scare his old friends. _His old friends._

The thought of someone special he is to meet again makes him smile nervously at himself in the mirror as he also contemplates that yes, some hair gel might do well, too.  
He takes a quick shower before brushing his teeth and going through his skincare routine, humming the whole time trying to lift up his mood a bit. _Can’t be in a bad mood now when you finally see the others again, right?_

He takes a look in his fridge to see if he has anything there for a decent breakfast but only sees an already opened granola bar. Grumbling to himself Jaemin takes the granola bar and bites into it, wishing for coffee and already mentally writing down a list of what he has to buy at the grocery store later. Guess he can’t postpone the grocery trip any longer if he wants to start the healthy diet he’s been meaning to do for months now. Well, when is a better time to start than after moving?  
He quickly walks back into his bedroom to choose an outfit for the day while chewing the last bits of his granola bar. After a bit of shuffling through his still unpacked boxes of clothes he manages to wrangle out a pair of slacks and a loose fitting lavender shirt. Not being able to stand the mess, he also stows the rest of his previously packed clothes into his new wardrobe. He nods to himself as he takes a look at his now neatly arranged clothes, feeling satisfied with himself before finally putting on his shoes to make his way down to the market. In the hallway he takes one last look at himself in the mirror.

“Even if it’s going to be a hard day, that’s alright.”

 

* * *

 

_“It was a hard day, wasn’t it, Jeno?”_

_“Renjun-“_

“-ee! Hey, Detective Lee!”

A hand waved in front of Jeno’s face, successfully snapping him out of his daze. Jaehyun looks at him with raised eyebrows, file in one hand held out for the younger to take.

“Ah sorry hyung! I’m still not used to being addressed that way, I always think of Taeyong-hyung.”

Jaehyun just grins at him and good-naturedly ruffles his hair when Jeno took the offered file.

“Yah! Youngest cop to ever make it detective in the county of Boseong! Promoted on the same day Taeyong was promoted captain! You Lees must have it in your blood.”

Jeno chuckles lightly at the praise, ducking his head and scratching his nose with his free hand – a habit he has had since he was small when he gets shy. Jaehyun gives him a proud pat on the back, eyes turning soft.

“He would be proud, you know that, right?”

The small smile drops off Jeno’s face as he lifts his head to give the elder a serious but still warm look as he nods in confirmation. Jaehyun gives him one last close-lipped smile before changing to work mood again. “This is the updated file on Nakamoto’s case as you probably already know, the psychologist they specifically got for him from Seoul is to start working tomorrow. Lieutenant Seo and Captain Lee are also trying to get him in on the copycat case, but we still have to wait for a word from Chief Jung.”

He opens the file and studies the new papers, leaning against his desk as Jaehyun stands next to him, arms crossed and head slightly bowed to also read the text with him. Jeno stops when he comes to the resume of the newly assigned doctor, a small smile curving his lips when he looks at his picture with warm eyes. The elder detective just gives him a knowing smile, work mood vanishing again as quickly as it came.

“Three years, huh? He sure grew up in that time.”, he glances at Jeno, eyes sharp like he can see the inner turmoil the younger is having. “Are you excited to see him again?”

Jeno smiles tight-lipped at the other, aware that Jaehyun would notice if he were to lie. “Actually I’m pretty nervous. We’re meeting up later with some school friends for drinks.”

“You don’t need to be nervous about that, especially if Mark is there as well.”

“I know, I just-“, he sighs in frustration, not knowing how he should exactly voice his worries without sounding whiny, “I changed the past three years, and so probably has he. And the last time we saw each other face to face it-it still-“ _it still hurt. Still does._

Jaehyun just squeezes his shoulder in support, his eyes warm and encouraging, knowing what he meant to say.  
“Don’t worry too much, Jeno. You grew up in a positive way, and knowing you two you will start bickering over basketball soon enough again. Please pay attention that I won’t be a casualty again though.”

Jeno pushes the elder’s shoulder in mock annoyance but gives him a thankful smile which Jaehyun returns.

“Maybe you can talk with Sicheng, it might help. He will also be happy to talk with you again.”

But Jeno just shakes his head. “Nah, after what he went through with Nakamoto I don’t want to bother him anymore. And I think he would be happiest if you or Doctor Qian were to visit him.”

“If you say so. “ The elder shrugs his shoulder in response before turning away. “Okay, I gotta go talk to Captain Lee now, I’ll keep you updated if we manage to get him into the case.”

He waves the elder goodbye as he watches him make his way to his cousin’s office, thoughts already drifting off into old memories of them playing basketball together. Freshly dyed hair matted onto skin by sweat, the wafting scent of tea fields -  
_A boy sitting on the bench, one of his delicate feet wrapped in bandages, a melodious voice cheering them on –_

_“It was a hard day, wasn’t it, Jeno?”_

He closes his eyes, basking in the memory of the voice for a short few seconds, before opening them again, setting back into his serious work attitude. He turns to his desk again where the file of the Nakamoto case Jaehyun just gave him is laid next to the case file of the possible copycat murderer.  
Jeno frowns as he eyes the two files, something bothering him that feels like a light wave of foreboding. Somehow he feels like the bud of a joke as he looks at the photos of the copycat’s victims again, like the killer is mocking them. Only five months after Nakamoto has been caught, for the murder to happen exactly on- No, it can’t be.  
Jeno shakes his head with a slight chuckle, dismissing his train of thoughts. He must still be too pent up after all the paper work he had to fill out after Nakamoto’s case was closed and he was promoted.

A sudden slap onto his back brings him out of his musings as he turns with wide eyes to face the perpetrator. He comes face to face with a grinning Mark who looks at him inquisitively.

“Isn’t your shift over yet, man? I’ve been waiting downstairs for like ten minutes already.”

Jeno looks at the elder in surprise before he remembers that they planned to go drinking together this evening. Was it this late already?  
Mark gives him a light push towards the direction of the elevator as he keeps talking with a wide smile on his face.

“C’mon man, if we don’t hurry up now Donghyuck’s whining will be unbearable. And we don’t want to let Jaemin wait after three years!”

The elder turns to grin at him and Jeno can’t help but to return it at the thought of finally seeing Jaemin again, his nervousness from before already forgotten.

“Ah sorry Mark, must have lost track of the time.”

Mark just bumps their shoulders good-naturedly before the elevator opens and they step out of it to make their way to the elder’s car.

“Don’t sweat it, I can only imagine what it’s like to work directly under my brother.” Mark shudders at what Jeno can only assume are memories of his childhood with Taeyong replaying in his mind.

“But Johnny is so cool, I wanna work with him, too!”, the elder chirps happily as he starts the motor of his old Sedan, “Oh my god dude, I gotta tell you what Lucas did today!”

Mark continues to cheerfully retell him what kind of antics Lucas came up with again on their patrol through the whole drive to their regular bar while Jeno listens attentively. Honestly, he still wonders how Taeyong thought that assigning Mark and Lucas as partners was a good idea. The taller always hyperactive and ready to start something while the smaller is too hyped about what is going to happen than to actually stop him, his constant laughter usually only encouraging Lucas even more.

“- and then he actually started barking back at the dog in the middle of the street, can you believe it? The old woman got furious, screamed at him how that only made matters worse!” For one second Jeno is afraid that the elder will take his hands from the wheel to clap excitedly like he usually does when he is amused. Thankfully Mark just takes a too sharp turn before he continues his story, Jeno sighs in relief.“ In the end Lucas had to call Minho-hyung from the fire department to get the cat out of the tree. Oh look, they’re already waiting outside!”

Jeno quickly whips his head back to look out the window and indeed there are two figures standing in front of the bar. One of them is Donghyuck who is watching them park the car with an annoyed expression, the other person is obviously Jaemin and Jeno doesn’t know what he expected. For time to slow down or for his heart to skip a beat at the sight of the other? Non of that happened though, Jaemin is still so obviously the Jaemin from his childhood, and yet he is so different from before. He feels a bit underwhelmed and yet awed.

They step out of the car and are immediately greeted by Donghyuck loudly complaining about their lateness and how “you can never trust a Lee behind the wheel.” (Mark turned to the other in disbelieve. “Donghyuck, your family name is Lee, too.” “Exactly, your point?”)  
He makes eye contact with Jaemin as Mark and Donghyuck once again start to bicker and they share a small exasperated smile, and it almost feels like they’re back in high school again.

 

* * *

 

“CHEERS!”

Four glasses clink loudly against each other as they happily toast to their reunion, Mark being the only one not drinking beer as he has to drive back later since his flat is the only one further away.  
Jaemin watches his old friends drink fondly, his eyes wavering for a quarter of a second at Jeno before he averts his gaze back to his own drink. Donghyuck gulps down his whole beer in quick succession until he slams down the now empty glass onto the table with a bright smile directed at Jaemin.

“So Jaemin, the new boy wonder in the field of psychology, huh? Successfully made his doctorate at only the age of 25, and don’t even try to deny it! I saw you on that magazine cover!”

The younger points an accusing finger at him before he can even say anything, so he just smiles bashfully at the others. Some things really haven’t changed that much, huh?

“Damn Jaemin, you were featured in a magazine?”, Mark gives an impressed whistle.

“You make it sound greater than it actually is, it’s just some biweekly science mag.”  
But Donghyuck just squawks loudly at him in protest. “How does that make it any less great!?”

He laughs sheepishly at his friends who are watching him in awe as Donghyuck continues his praise.

“Seriously though, you really did great these past three years, I read the whole article! I mean you’ve already been smart back in school but that thesis you wrote must have been really something.”

Donghyuck slowly claps his hands in admiration and Jaemin is just about to explain what his doctorate thesis was actually about in detail when Jeno opens his mouth for the first time since they sat down in the bar.

“The thesis is based on the Nakamoto Dollmaker Case, it actually helped us out a lot to catch him.”  
He looks at Jeno in surprise and the other gives him his crescent smile back in encouragement. Donghyuck leans back in his seat and looks at them both with a dumbfound expression. “Damn, that case was hard core and now I’m sitting together with the two golden boys who solved it.”

He shoots Jaemin and Jeno a sleazy grin as they both smile bashfully with a light blush colouring their cheeks, may it be from the alcohol or the praise.

“Me and Mark must seem like real losers next to you guys.”

A loud squeak is heard as Mark voices his protest with a loud “Hey!” but the younger just waves him off with an eye roll.

“We gotta toast to this again. Hey Ten, my beautiful bar-fairy! Three more beer and some apple-juice for Mark here!”

From his place behind the bar Ten flips Donghyuck off but still proceeds to pour their drinks anyway.  
Jaemin feels eyes on him and when he turns he sees Jeno looking at him inquisitively with a light smile.

“How was your stay in Seoul, Jaemin? Was the work in the psychiatric clinic hard?”

A slight sheen of sweat builds under his shirt as he swallows, flashes of memories playing in his mind of cruel smiles, raw guilt, sleepless nights and loud crying, so much crying –

“It was okay, I guess. I mostly busied myself with work and writing my thesis so I didn’t really get to see much.” He takes a big gulp of his beer, trying to swallow his nausea away, before continuing. “The city was very stressful and hectic though, so I think it will do me good to be back here.”

Everyone at the table nods in understanding and Jaemin sighs in relief as he sees that no one seems to have noticed the brief flash of panic in his eyes before.

“It will also be interesting to actually see the person of my thesis.”

Next to him Jeno cringes a bit, leading Jaemin to look at him in confusion. “You might regret saying that, Nakamoto is really a handful.”

He wants to remind the other that even though he is young he is still a trained psychologist, but then again he remembers that Jeno is the same age as him and actually met Nakamoto Yuta various times, was even the one to catch him, so he probably knows what he is talking about. He gives Jeno a tight-lipped smile in response as he takes his words to heart.

“I heard Taeyong-hyung also wants my advise on the possible copycat killer?” He takes a sip of his beer as he watches Jeno sit up straight over the rim of his glass.

“Yeah, the whole precinct thinks you would be a really good asset to the case. I’m actually assigned to it, too, so we would be working together!” At the last sentence Jeno smiles so brightly at him that his eyes almost vanish wholly.  
“I think together we will definitely catch the killer.”

It’s said with so much conviction and warmth that Jaemin doesn’t know if the pressure on his heart he’s suddenly feeling comes from fondness or guilt. His turmoil of emotions is once again interrupted though when Donghyuck slams another tray full of beer and apple juice onto the table, earning a warning glare from Ten.

“Enough talk about work! We’re here to celebrate!” The younger cheers as he hands out the glasses. With a defeated sigh Mark begrudgingly takes a sip of his juice, already knowing that he’ll probably have to drive Donghyuck’s drunk ass back home again.

Laughing in amusement Jaemin takes his drink from the youngest as he starts to ignore his own words to complain loudly about his supervisor in the fire-department – and between Mark’s and Jeno’s happy smiles and Donghyuck’s loud voice, he can almost ignore the glaringly empty spot between him and Jeno.

 

* * *

 

“C’mon Donghyuck, let’s get you home.” Mark tries to settle the younger as he drunkenly hugs Jaemin, who just smiles placatingly at him while patting his back.

“Noooo, let me be with Jaemiiiin! We haven’t seen each other for sooo looooong!”  
Sighing in annoyance, Mark just forcefully pulls Donghyuck away from Jaemin and drags him to his car while the younger yells something about police brutality. With a pained smile he wishes Jeno and him a good night as he slams the car door shut before Donghyuck can escape.

Jeno and him watch the elder drive off with amused smiles, awkward silence settling between them.

“So uhm, I will take a walk before also getting home.” The words feel awkward on his tongue as he voices them but the silence had become too unsettling for him.  
Jeno turns to him in surprise. “Oh, let me walk with you then!”

Jaemin winces lightly at the other’s words, slight anxiety crawling up his spine at what he would have to say next, not wanting to make Jeno’s earnest smile waver.

“Jeno, I was actually planning to – “ But a soft hand on his upper arm interrupts him from continuing his sentence. He jumps lightly at the contact before turning wide eyes at Jeno. Warmth spreads from the point of contact on his arm and Jaemin hasn’t realised how much he missed body contact with someone precious to him until now.  
The other just gives him a close-lipped smile, eyes soft and yet so sad as he looks at him. “I know.”  
It’s the only words he has to say before Jaemin turns to go into the direction of their destination, Jeno a warm presence at his side.

They walk in comfortable silence for a few minutes before Jaemin opens his mouth to say something, getting ready for some tense small talk. “How are your parents?”

Jeno looks at him in surprise before smiling lightly at him. “They’re well, currently visiting my aunt in Mokpo. Thank you for asking though.” They walk for a bit, a brief lapse in their awkward conversation before the older picks it up again. “You look good, the training in Seoul must have been good for you.”

Jaemin smiles to himself, lamenting how long it has been since someone had given him genuine compliments without hidden intentions, but also laments at how wrong Jeno is.

“Not as good as the police academy must have been for you though.” Jeno laughs brightly at his words while scratching his nose shyly. He bumps their shoulders together playfully and Jaemin suddenly feels a burst of affection spread through his heavy heart that he doesn’t know how to place.  
Happy smile still intact, Jeno turns to him once again.

“I really missed you, Jaemin-ah.”

The words come so unexpected that he falters in his steps for a moment, trying to sort the wild turmoil of emotions going through him. He doesn’t know what exactly to say as he look back at the other’s happy yet sad eyes. He doesn’t have to say anything though as Jeno is the one to say something first again. “I’m sorry I was so distant while we were in university, and I’m sorry that I didn’t contact you when you went to Seoul. I was just – just, you know, still in a bad place.” He balls his hands into fists in frustration before continuing.

“I know that’s not really an excuse, but I-“

Jaemin interrupts as he softly takes Jeno’s hand in his to sooth the white knuckles, the action coming so naturally and familiar to him that his heart aches at the memories.

“It’s okay, I also wasn’t better.”

They share tentative smiles with each other before awkwardly looking at the ground again as they continue their way, their hands falling back to their sides. The rest of their walk is spent in slightly awkward but still comfortable silence before they come to stop shortly before the rusty gates of the graveyard.

Slight anxiousness crawls up his body as they enter, the moon their only source of light. They make their way past various graves until Jeno stops to bow at four certain graves, Jaemin quick to follow his actions before his heart stops as his eyes land on a certain grave. His body is going numb while his emotions simultaneously go into chaos as he watches Jeno crouch down to rip out a bit of weed surrounding the stones.

“Donghyuck avoids this place like the plague but I think he just doesn’t want us to see him cry.” Jeno whispers as he tends to the flowers. “I come here every two weeks to pay respect and to take care of their graves, though Mark is the one who takes care of his.”

He rips an especially persistent piece of weed out viciously. “I refuse to do it. To me it just feels like we’re accepting that he’s dead. When he obviously is not.”

Jeno’s eyes are slightly wet as he glares at the ground like the emptiness of the earth beneath the grave is mocking him. Jaemin feels conflicted at the words, pain stabbing through every part of his body. Was it guilt? Was it remorse?  
He knows that Jeno’s looking at him, eyes expectant like he wants Jaemin to share his point of view, but he can only direct a tight-lipped smile at him. “Can you leave me for a moment, please? I just need a bit.”

Jeno ducks his head in understanding, muttering “Of course, take your time.”, before quickly scattering away to give him space. He doesn’t even have to look to know that Jeno moved far enough away to not be able to hear him, always so nice and respectful, has always been so.

He spends a minute just silently staring at the grave before him before he crouches down to touch the ridges of the stone, careful not to crush the flowers Mark must have diligently planted there - also takes small note of the bundle of sunflowers that he knows for sure only grow in the garden of Donghyuck’s mother.  
Something wet travels down his cheeks to his chin and drops onto the seam of his pants as he reads the engravement, carefully tracing the letters with his hand.

_“Jaemin-ah”_

_“As long as you come back home to me.”_

“Injunnie, I’m back. I’m back home.” _But you’re not._

 

* * *

 

Sterile white walls surround him, almost suffocating in their cleanness and Jaemin wonders with dread if this workplace will be like his last one, full of patronizing smiles and vicious words. He tries to calmly breath in and out as he mumbles to himself like a mantra.  
“Even if it’s going to be a hard day, that’s alright.”

But then a person appears from one of the doors at the end of the hallway and smiles warmly at him and all his worries become slowly mute.

“Dr. Na, right? It’s an honour to have you working with us.” The man holds out his hand in welcome and Jaemin shakes it with a polite smile, noticing how warm it is. “I’m the head of the department for the criminally insane, Dr. Qian.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Dr. Qian. I’m looking forward to working here.” Jaemin replies politely but the other just waves a hand at him with a small laugh.

“No need to be so polite, you can call me Kun when it’s just us.” At that Dr. Qian – Kun, he repeats in his head – directs a wink at him that somehow doesn’t come off as sleazy and more as funny.

The elder moves his hand to motion Jaemin to follow him as he guides them through the long white corridors, only stopping when they come upon another person in a doctor’s coat that comes out of a door and Kun calls out to the other, beckoning him closer.

“Sicheng, perfect timing! Dr. Na, this is Dr. Dong Sicheng, he will show you around and help you out if you need anything. Sicheng, this is Dr. Na Jaemin, the new psychologist I told you of who’s assigned to Mr. Nakamoto.” Kun smiles at both of them before turning to leave. “I’m sorry that I have to cut this short but I have a meeting with Police Chief Jung. Dr. Na, it was a pleasure to meet you.” The elder bids his farewell with a small nod and Jaemin watches him leave, not missing how he squeezes Sicheng’s arm before going down the long hallway.  
It isn’t until Kun is out of sight and he has turned to the person in front of him that the name of the other registers in his head. His eyes widen slightly at the realization as he looks at him, trying to hide his surprise. The other must have noticed though as he gives a small smile, that Jaemin notes looks rather pretty even though there’s a slight sadness hidden behind it.

“You’ve probably guessed already, but yes, I’m that Dong Sicheng from the Dollmaker Case.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t want to be rude-“ he quickly mutters but the other doctor just chuckles lightly at him, making him look younger and less worried.

“Don’t worry, no offense taken. And a friend of Renjun is a friend of mine, so no need to be formal with me.”

At the mention of the name Jaemin’s heart stutters and he looks at the older with wide eyes, a question already forming on his tongue but Sicheng is already quick to answer.

“You know, he liked to talk about his close friends - about you and Jeno especially.” He guides Jaemin down the hall in the opposite direction they came from and proceeds to show him the various wings and rooms. “I’m his cousin, I used to live in Shang Hai but moved here after the incident happened.” A small pained smile is directed at him as Sicheng explains. “I wanted him to have family to come back to.”

They enter a cozyly furnished room that’s titled as the break room and Sicheng motions for Jaemin to sit down at the table as he goes to look through one of the cabinets filled with white robes.

“I also befriended Jeno and I can see why Renjun was so happy with you two. Having him on the case was a great help.” He pulls out another doctor’s overall with triumph and gives it to Jaemin with a winning smile. “I hope we can become friends, too.”

Jaemin feels his heart clench at the thought of Renjun happily retelling stories of their adventures to Sicheng, the fact that Renjun is helping him out even now even though he isn’t there – his heart clenches so painfully, it almost feels like it’s going to burst.

He smiles up at the elder and takes the coat gratefully. “I would like that as well.”

Sicheng’s eyes curve in a warm smile as he sits down opposite of him.  
“That’s your new robe, your name tag is already pinned onto it.” After saying that he points at the cabinet at the opposite wall. “There are the files for our patients, they’re archived alphabetically though you need a key card to open it. You will receive it from Kun once he’s back.” Jaemin nods in understanding and pulls on his doctors robe.  
Opposite him Sicheng taps something into the computer on the table before turning the screen so Jaemin can see it better. The white coat still feels stiff from newness and reeks lightly of flowery detergent and he can already feel a certain calmness come over him that he gets when he immerses himself into work.

“This is our work rooster, in here we put dates and times that we have talks with the patients. Certain activities or peculiar behaviour are written down here as well.” On the screen a chart with names, colour coded texts and dates is seen, Jaemin can see Sicheng’s and Kun’s names appear various times. Sicheng points at a bar with his name before looking at him. “As you can see, here is your schedule, you probably already know how this program works since your former work place must have used a similar system.”

Jaemin nods his head in confirmation, eyes still on the screen as he notes that Nakamoto seems to be his only patient for now and that a certain Dr. Kim will be accompanying him the first two weeks. The printer in the corner beeps and Sicheng pulls out a sheet with a number code on it before giving it to Jaemin.

“This is your login data, you can change it whenever if you want to – just go to the settings of your profile.  
Oh! I see that you actually already have your first sitting in a few minutes.”

The elder turns to look at the screen again before shutting it off with a slight frown. “Jungwoo is sick today, so I will assist you for now.”

They both stand up to leave and Jaemin turns to the Chinese with a worried expression. “Will you be okay with him?”

Sicheng pulls a light grimace over his shoulder as they enter the ward area. “Don’t worry about me, I’ve come to terms with it. As long as I stay out of sight everything will be well.”

After a short walk they stop in front of a door with the letters forming “0.127 Nakamoto Yuta” on the doorplate. Before opening the door Sicheng turns to him with an encouraging smile.

“This will just be a short appointment to introduce you to each other, so don’t be nervous - though you probably already know the whole drill.”

Sicheng opens the door with his key card and motions for Jaemin to step in first before closing it softly behind them again. The room is more like a short hallway with a glass wall separating it from another room at the end, Jaemin guesses Nakamoto is inside that connected room.  
He seats himself down into the chair with his notepad a few feet in front of the glass, not looking up to see past it. Next to him hidden behind the wall Sicheng switches on the voice transition between the rooms and starts the recording before giving Jaemin a thumps up accompanied with a nervous smile, his shoulders stiff.

Jaemin briefly worries for the elder before finally looking up and  concentrating on the person behind the glass.  
Inside the cell Nakamoto is sitting in the far corner, glaring at him but otherwise looking bored.

“Good afternoon, Mr. Nakamoto. I’m Dr. Na, the new-“

“You’re also not Winwin.”

Jaemin smiles neutrally at the male, his professional work poker face on and not fazed by the interruption – he had guessed this would happen.

“I’m Dr. Na, the new doctor assigned to you.”

Nakamoto stops glaring at him to instead ignore him, scrutinizing his nails as he sits with his back leaned against the wall, Jaemin just keeps introducing himself, already used to this kind of behaviour from the patients. “I hope we will get along in the future. Today’s session is meant for us to get to know each other better. Would you like to tell me something about yourself, Mr. Nakamoto?”

The silence keeps stretching on for minutes as Nakamoto keeps ignoring his presence, an actual small pout on his lips, probably from not being able to see who he wanted to see. From the other end of the room Sicheng gives him a stumps up to sign that that’s enough for the day and that he did great - they probably won’t be able to get another word out of the Japanese man for now.

“Well then, this will be all for today. Good afternoon, Mr. Nakamoto.”

He’s just about to get up when Nakamoto suddenly looks at him from the corner of his eyes.

“Where’s Dr. Kim?”

Jaemin opens his mouth to tell him that the other is sick but catches himself before he can say it out loud. He looks at Nakamoto with a blank smile, already assessing the other’s plan. Beside him Sicheng stops from cutting off the recording, looking at scene with squinted eyes.

“Why, he is right here behind the wall helping me out.”

“Bullshit, your hesitation means you’re lying.” Inside the cell Nakamoto stands up while looking at him with wide eyes. “You’re new so someone has to be with you but it’s not Dr. Qian because he hates my guts.”

A loud bang resonates through the room as Nakamoto has suddenly run up to stand directly by the glass causing Jaemin to flinch slightly but otherwise shows no crack in his neutral expression.

“Mr. Nakamoto I need you to step back from the gla-“

“It’s Winwin, isn’t it!?”

Jaemin takes a quick glance at Sicheng without turning his head as he sees the other pale visibly as Nakamoto starts to hit and scratch the glass frantically, the loud bangs hitting them like shots of a gun.

“Mr. Nakamo-“

“LET ME SEE MY WINWIN! WINKO-CHAN COME HERE!”

The screams keep reverberating and Sicheng is shaking by the time Jaemin turns to hit the red button next to the glass for a sedative gas to be led into the cell as he quickly but carefully pulls the other doctor out of the room, Nakamoto’s cries following them out until the door shuts firmly behind them.

Jaemin guides the elder to look at him as he puts his hand onto his chest to try and guide his heavy breathing. Sicheng’s eyes are wide and panicked as they keep eye contact until his breath evens out a bit more. He still looks visibly shaken but better when Dr. Qian suddenly comes around the corner – probably alarmed by the use of sedatives – and takes one look at them before rushing to Sicheng to check up on him.

“Oh god, are you okay!?” At the other Chinese’s shaky nod he exhales in relief but keeps his hand on the other’s back, drawing soothing circles until he has calmed down.

“Damn it, Sicheng! I told you not to go in there!”

“And I told you I’m fine, ge.” It would sound whiny if it weren’t for the severity of the situation.

“You call this fine? You even bought Dr. Na into this!”

“It’s no problem.” Jaemin voices out his thought. “But if I may say, I think it would be best for Sicheng to take the rest of the day off.”

The eldest nods in agreement. “I will call Jaehyun to pick you up.”

Before Sicheng can even protest Kun stops him with a sharp glare. The other drops his shoulders in defeat, an annoyed “Fiiiiiine” leaving his mouth, but still shoots them a small grateful smile before turning to leave.

“Wait inside my office for me, I will bring you outside.” Kun calls after the other before turning an apologetic smile at Jaemin. “I’m sorry your first day has to be so stressful already. I swear that brat gives me gray hairs.”

But Jaemin just shakes his head. “It’s okay, I should have stopped him before.

“Still, you acted well.” Dr. Qian thumps his back in approval. “If you wouldn’t mind, can you wait in the breakroom for me? I will just look after Sicheng for a bit before coming back.”

He shakes his head and tells the elder that he doesn’t mind at all, Kun smiles gratefully at him before going down the hallway after Sicheng.

While he waits for Kun in the breakroom his thoughts drift back to what just happened as he takes mental notes.

 

* * *

 

“In this envelope is your ID-Card and the key for your locker, as well as some other keys to the staff rooms. As Sicheng probably told you already, with your ID-Card you will be able to open most locks if your security clearance is high enough.” Kun slides a white envelope over the table that Jaemin takes gratefully. “If you have any questions just come to me. But this isn’t all I wanted to talk about with you.”

Jaemin looks up from the envelope to look attentively at the elder.

“At the meeting with Police chief Jung he asked me if you would be interested in also assisting them in another case. You may have read about it, it’s about the killing of the Won family.”

A flashback of the recent news and that morning’s news paper come into his head as Jaemin nods.

“Yes, I’ve read of it. A friend of mine is also working on the case so I have been informed already. I would like to work on the case as well, if that’s okay.”

“Of course that’s okay! I will give the police chief a quick call then to tell him of your decision.”

Opposite him the elder doctor nods in approval before he jots something down into his notebook and rips it out to give it to Jaemin – on it is an address and a time.

“This is the address of the new precinct near the train station as well as the time of a debriefing on the case. Police chief Jung told me that if you say yes, you should just come over then to get more information.”

He carefully puts the envelope together with the note into his briefcase as they go to their lockers to stow their doctor’s coats away, the end of their work day having come to them. As they make their way through the now even emptier white halls of the clinic to the parking lot, Kun turns his head to look better at him.

“If you don’t mind me asking, I read in your resume that you went to Seoul for a scholarship at a big psychiatry there.” Jaemin nods along to what the elder says about him as they enter the parking lot.

“The work there must have been a lot more prestigious than here, especially for you. So what made you come back?”

The last rays of sunshine reflect in the windows of his car as he reaches it, a few stars and the moon are already visible in the sky, shining like a secretive smile with a small dimple showing -

“ _As long as you come back home to me.”_

“I wanted to be comforted by my home.”

 

* * *

 

Something keeps bugging Jeno as he looks at the case files on his desk, he just can’t comprehend what exactly it is, it keeps floating just out of reach for him to grasp. If he concentrates just a bit more, digs just a bit deeper-  
A small thud is heard as something collides with his head. He sees a balled up paper ball lying on the floor as he rubs his head, when he looks up to look for the culprit he spots Jaehyun giving him pointed looks and motioning his head into the direction of the elevators. As he swivels around in his chair to check what’s up he almost falls out of it when he spots Jaemin standing there, fidgeting with the sleeve of his shirt. Jeno straitens his spine and waves to the other to get his attention, ignoring Jaehyun’s cackles behind him.

When Jaemin finally spots him and makes his way over to him with a small smile, Jeno feels a sense of strangeness settle in at the view. Seeing Jaemin again after so long and meeting him now at his workplace feels like something profound has changed.

Jaemin takes in the view of Jeno in his formal work clothes, looking so comfortable and yet so unfitting into the precinct. His childhood friend sits in front of him smiling bright as the sun like he has always done and yet somehow it feels different. To meet in such context a cruel contrast to their happy childhood.

“Hey Jaemin, are you here for the debriefing?”

“Ah, yes, Dr. Qian told me of the offer yesterday and I decided to join.”

Jeno’s eyes curve in his happy smile at the answer and Jaemin briefly wonders when his own smile lost its brightness.

“I’m glad you decided to join, it will almost be like back then when we used to play those detective games.”

As answer Jaemin just smiles stiffly at the other’s happy remark. He wishes he could be as optimistic as Jeno, but the only thing he can think of is that the game they played back then used to be for three.

His dark thoughts are interrupted though when Taeyong calls for the people designated to the case to gather in the debriefing room.  
Inside the room he sees various faces from his childhood, some just a blurry memory coming back to life and some more vivid – Taeyong smiles at him as he enters, Jaehyun waves from the first row and Johnny nods at him next to Taeyong.  Jaemin quickly takes the seat next to Jeno before Taeyong turns on the monitor at the front. Two pictures of the same crime scene are shown – a dead girl lying in her bed and the parents, also dead, sitting on the couch.

“Lieutenant Seo, if you would please.” Johnny nods at Taeyong before taking a stance next to the screen.

“The first crime scene is the house of the Park-Family, the whole family consisting of a mother, father and their daughter were found dead by the housekeeper in the morning of the 7th May this year.”

The pictures skip to a close up on the corpses as Johnny presses a button on the remote. “Their death is estimated to have been around 2:00 AM the night before. Cause of the parents’ deaths are slit throats while the daughter was strangled.”

The photos change again, this time to a close up on their faces and clothes, as well as the parents’ slit throats.

“Noticeable is that the wounds were cleaned after death, as well as that their clothes are free of blood.”

The pictures change to a different crime scene this time, showing the bodies of a woman holding a girl  sitting in a love seat and a man lying by their feet. “The second crime scene is the home of the Won-Family. The single mother and her daughter were found by their landlord on the 29th May after they didn’t pay the rent for two months. The man found with them is Lee Sunghyun, a Child Protective Service worker send to take the daughter since Miss Kwon seemed to be having various financial issues.”

Another zoom-in on the wounds are shown.

“Cause of death is trauma by blunt force by all three. Signs of self-defence were found, though none of those hold possible DNA of the killer. The clothes are once again clean and seem to have been arranged back neatly after death.”

Jaemin furrows his brows as flashes of Nakamoto’s victims come to his mind, the clean and dressed up state of the corpses a striking similarity.

“While the causes of death don’t seem to be deliberate, we still come to the conclusion that this might be the work of a serial killer seen by the same themes he seems to repeat. Which is also reason for us to believe that this might be a copycat killer of Nakamoto.”

A low rumble goes through the room at the statement as some officers and detectives start to whisper between themselves before Taeyong shuts them up with a sharp look.

“The bodies of the victims were arranged into specific poses after death and seem to be peculiarly dressed up, making it possible that the killer redressed them after death. This shares striking resemblance to the state of Nakamoto’s victims - the only difference being that Nakamoto didn’t kill various people at once.”

 “We are still not sure yet if it is truly a copycat since Nakamoto’s themes were a more.…drastic state.”, Taeyong steps up to change the images on the screen to a photo of one of Nakamoto’s victims as he addresses the room.  
The empty eyes of a boy look back at them hauntingly, the blush on his face faked with make up and his lips drawn red like blood, his baby blue dress looking out of place in the gruesome picture.

“The women also seemed to be wearing make up, was it also put on after their death?”, Jaehyun pipes up from his seat, eyes held in a frown glued onto the screen. Johnny and Taeyong share a look before turning back to Jaehyun. “Good observation Detective Jung. Officer Kim, if you would please call the coroner’s office later to check up on that.”

Jaemin’s spine runs cold as a thought flashes through his mind and he can sense Jeno stiffening next to him at the same time before he lifts his hand to address Taeyong. “Captain Lee, if it’s okay I would like to investigate on that matter further.”

Taeyong looks at Jeno for a few seconds, his eyes serious before he gives a slight nod and Jeno quickly stands up to call the coroner. Before he leaves through the door though he and Jaemin share brief eye contact and he feels slightly sick in his stomach at what thought they might have shared that moment.

 

At the end of the debriefing Taeyong pulls him aside as the room clears and smiles at him warmly.  
“Jaemin, it’s good to see you again after such a long time, though I wish it could be under better conditions.”

“Taeyong-hyung, congratulations on your promotion.” He smiles at the older as Taeyong laughs, his eyes squinting handsomely. It must really run in the Lee bloodline, huh?

“I could say the same to you!” His shoulder feels warm where the elder has put his hand to squeeze it in a friendly manner, nostalgia hitting him for a short moment to when they used to play basketball together. It’s quickly gone though when Taeyong takes his hand away to look at him more seriously. “I heard from Dr. Qian what happened yesterday. I hoped Sicheng would be able to help out on this case, too, but now I don’t think he’s in the right state yet.”

The elder’s brows furrow in a frown as he bites his lip in worry. “As you probably know, Sicheng is Nakamoto’s last and only surviving victim, consulting with him would be very helpful. You probably know about this better than I do, but I still ask you to please be gentle to him.”

Sicheng’s face comes into his mind, his eyes a soft almond shape that reminds him so much of Renjun’s and Jaemin doesn’t think it possible to ever be harsh to Sicheng.

“Of course, hyung.”

 

* * *

 

He grips the small bundle of sunflowers tightly as he stands in front of the graveyard gate before stepping through it, his steps reverberating in the silence of the night. He quickly walks past rows of graves, his destination a specific grave at the very back. When he reaches it he is surprised to already see another person standing in front of the group of graves, the white of his shirt seeming almost luminous in the dark night. When the person turns around though he isn’t surprised to see who it is.

“Hey Jaemin.” Jeno smiles at him tight-lippedly and Jaemin returns it as they stand next to each other in companionable silence as they look at the graves in front of them.

“Are those for him?” Jeno looks at the sunflowers in Jaemin’s hand and Jaemin nods in response before he crouches down to lay them in front of Renjun’s grave. “They’re his favourites.”

The silence continues again for a short while before Jeno turns to him. “I called the coroner and he confirmed that the make up was indeed put on after dead.” The statement hangs heavy in the air between them and he closes his eyes tightly.

“Jaemin, the copycat, you saw it, didn’t you? The resemblance-“

“Jeno, don’t-“, he tries to interrupt the other but Jeno keeps talking on, his eyes wide and determined. “The timing is also fitting, it might be him!”

“Jeno, stop, stop-“ He feels his hands start to shake slightly as he keeps his eyes steadfastly trained onto the grave in front of him in hopes to focus himself but Jeno doesn’t hear his mutters as he continues.

“We might be able finally find him again! Jaemin, if we’re right-“ “Jeno, it’s been eight years!”

Jeno abruptly closes his mouth at Jaemin’s words, his eyes now wide in surprise as he looks at him. In turn Jaemin balls his hands into fists to stop them from shaking as he tries to avoid Jeno’s gaze.

“He stayed put for eight years and suddenly just now turns up again when he’s been undetected for so long? It’s highly unlikely that it’s him.”

The words feel bitter on his tongue as he speaks them and he can feel Jeno frowning at the ground before he looks back up at Jaemin. “I know that it seems strange, but there must be a reason behind it. Don’t you want to catch him, Jaemin? God, it’s all I’ve been able to think about since I was seventeen. To catch him and bring Renjun back home.”

“Of course I want to bring him to justice.” Jaemin answers. His knuckles have turned white in his tight grip, unable to stop his hands from shaking slightly as he also bites his under lip in frustration.

“Renjun must be out there, still waiting for us to-“ “IT’S NOT THAT EASY, JENO!”

He turns to face Jeno’s shocked gaze with red rimmed eyes lightly glazed by tears. “You haven’t worked with these monsters as close as I have. They spit vicious words full of pure poison that burn almost worse than the physical wounds they create and their view on the world is warped and horrible. And yet I still prefer to work with them instead of their victims and do you want to know why?”

His hands are shaking wildly now as memories of crying patients and yelling inmates run through his mind. Jeno’s eyes are wide and face pale in the moonlight as he looks at him. “Because even though they may have survived, there’s still a part of them that still suffers under the hand of their tormentor and it’s even worse! I don’t want to see Renjun like that!”

“What are you saying then, Jaemin, would you rather want Renjun to be dead?” The silence following is thick and the distance that had been between them seems to grow with every second they stand there. The warmth from before and the connection they created now lost in their tangled mess of emotions and Jaemin is the source of it. Jeno’s eyes are filled with pain and yet a small flicker of hope and Jaemin has to close his eyes and swallow the bile that rises before he opens his mouth to say his next words.

“If the other option means that he has been suffering all this time under that monster, then yes, I would rather he be dead.”

He doesn’t have to open his eyes to know that Jeno’s face is full of pain and disappointment, his quickly retreating footsteps echoing hollowly in his chest. Jaemin falls to his knees in front of Renjun’s grave, clutching the stone desperately with trembling hands while hot tears make their way down his face.

“Even if it’s going to be a hard day, that’s alright. Even if it’s going to be a hard day, that’s alri-“

He keeps repeating the words again and again as he weeps but there are no warm arms and no tinkling laughter to comfort him, only the cold grave stone between his fingers.

“I came back home to you, Injunie, but you’re not here. _You’re not here._ ”

 

 


	2. hurt road

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> songs I listened to a lot while writing this chapter are:  
> Day6 - Letting Go  
> Day6 - If we meet again  
> SHINee - All because of you  
> Pentagon - Naughty Boy  
> BTS - Spring Day
> 
> (srsly guys stop sleeping on Day6)

 

_The wind felt cooling on his slightly damp skin as he lay in the grass, closing his eyes as delicate fingers softly carded through his hair in a soothing manner. He laid there like this for a few minutes, basking in the comfort of the moment before he opened his eyes again to smile at Renjun._

_“It was a hard day, wasn’t it, Jeno?”_

_Renjun laughed lightly when Jeno pretended to stretch in pain as answer with exaggerated groans. For a moment he watched the sun reflect on Renjun’s black hair but quickly sat up in worry when he noticed that the other’s smile had shifted into a conflicted expression. He brushed a stray strand of hair behind Renjun’s ear as he looked at him in concern._

_“Hey, everything okay? You look like something’s bothering you.”_

_Renjun stopped biting his lower lip to give him a close-lipped smile. “You’ve been spending too much time with Jaemin. You’re becoming as perceptive as him.”_

_In return he just laughed lightly as he scratched his nose but returned his attention back to the other as he watched him fiddle with a bit of grass and resumed back to nibbling his lower lip. After he lay a comforting hand on the small of Renjun’s back the smaller looked back up to him – his cheeks a light red colour and his eyes filled with a storm of emotions._

_“Jeno, I-“_

_“-would rather he be dead.”_

Quickly shaking his head to get rid of the whirlwind of emotions and memories, Jeno accelerates the speed of his motorcycle. His knuckles turn white in the tight grip he has on the handles as he drives down the empty roads into the night, cedar woods and tea fields zooming by his side – the scent never quiet leaving his nose.

_“It was a hard day, wasn’t it, Jeno?”_

 

* * *

 

The familiar scent of coffee fills his nose as he enters the café and inhales deeply. Jaemin had always loved the beverage, something about its bitter yet fulfilling taste always leaving him warm after – the awakening effect just another plus side for his workaholic tendencies.  
He spots Mark waving happily to him from a table in the corner and makes his way to him with a small smile.

“Hey Jaemin, what’s up my man?” The older greets him happily with a fist-bump, his happy way of greeting others not having changed the least it seems. He wonders if partnering him up with Yukhei just made it worse.

“I’ve been good, and you?” he politely asks the other back as he pulls out the stool and sits down. Unsurprisingly Mark immediately springs into stories about his and Yukhei’s work adventures, seemingly trying to catch Jaemin up with everything that has happened to the two overexcited policemen.

“The old lady with the cat actually still sends in anonymous complaints about Yukhei, but we just know that it’s her, I tell you!” Jaemin smiles in light amusement before Mark’s story is interrupted by the waiter bringing Jaemin’s Cappuccino. He thanks the boy with a polite smile on his lips but is suddenly distracted by his features, which look strangely familiar to him – he just can’t place it.  
To his surprise Mark seems to know the waiter as he thanks him with a happy “Thanks, Chenle!”

Leaving the thought for later, he takes a small sip from his coffee and let’s himself relax a bit, Mark’s happy story telling and the familiar taste soothing him.

“Oh man, additionally we’ve been getting these calls from some crazy dude about seeing a ghost in the forest or something and then there are also these high schoolers– But enough about me! You had your first day at your new workplace last week, didn’t you?” Jaemin nods his head as answer and Mark leans forward with an expectant expression on his face. “Don’t leave me hanging, Jaemin! How was it? Is the place nice?”

In return he chuckles lightly at the other before answering him. “The clinic is just like any other clinic, if not smaller.”

He looks into his coffee as he thinks of the budding friendship he has built with Sicheng, Jungwoo and Kun the last week. “But the people there are a lot nicer than at my last place. I actually befriended Sicheng.”

Mark makes an oh-face. “He’s really pretty isn’t he? I’ve only worked with him shortly when he was in for questioning, but Jeno really likes him.”

For a short second Jaemin wonders if Jeno likes him in _that_ way – he has always had a knack for pretty things after all – but quickly dismisses it. It isn’t his place, especially after he stopped whatever was budding between them years ago.

_“Jaemin, I-I’m in love with-“_

There’s a bitter taste in his mouth that doesn’t come from the coffee but he ignores it in favour of smiling at Mark.

“There was actually an incident on my first day but nothing we couldn’t handle.”

The other makes a light grimace at that and let’s out a wince of sympathy. “Yeah, I heard from Taeyong-hyung. Jaehyun was kinda out of it after that.”

Mark leans back with a sigh and takes a gulp of his tea before regarding Jaemin with wide eyes. “Man, I really respect you for working with Nakamoto. Honestly I would have quit a long time ago, especially if I was Sicheng.”

Jaemin looks silently into his coffee as he thinks about the older Chinese, taking a small sip. While Sicheng looks rather delicate and pretty, Jaemin has seen in his resolute expression that he is a lot stronger than a lot of people take him for. Just like someone else he used to know.

A beeping sound brings them both out of their musings and Mark hastily takes out his phone to check it, letting out a long suffering groan right after, but Jaemin could see that the other is also trying to hide a grin before turning sheepish eyes on him.

“I’m so sorry Jaemin, but Lucas somehow got himself in trouble with Taeyong-hyung and now I have to bail him out.” But Jaemin just waves him off with a placating smile when he offers to pay for their drinks in apology, saying that he also has to get back to work anyway.  
They hug briefly in parting and Jaemin watches his old friend quickly walk down the road with a happy spring in his steps, slightly envious of the other’s genuine happiness.  
Just when did he become so bitter?

(Deep down he knows the exact day, the exact time when he did.)

He stays rooted on his spot for a few seconds before deciding that maybe a coffee to go would help before making his way over to the counter.  
The waiter with the familiar face from before greets him from his place at the cash register with a happy greeting.

“Hello, what can I get you?”

Jaemin doesn’t even have to look at the menu as he tells him his order.  
“One Iced Americano to go, please.”

The other nods in understanding and puts in his order in the register.

“One Iced Americano coming right up! That will be 5000 Won then.”

He silently gives him the exact amount of money, receiving a smile and thank you from the boy.

“What name is this coffee on?” The boy looks at him with inquiring eyes as he holds up a travel mug and a sharpie.

“Oh, Jaemin.” He watches as the other’s eyes widen and his hand stills from where it’s hovering above the cup sleeve with the pen. “Jae…-min?”

A few seconds of silence stretch between them as Jaemin looks at the other with a polite expression, not showing his confusion. “Yes, is there a problem?”

The smaller seems to be shaken out of his shock as his smile from before slips back on and he bows his head in apology before quickly writing his name onto the cup. Jaemin doesn’t miss the light strain to his smile though. “Not at all! Just confirming if I heard correct!” He chirps at Jaemin in reply.

He leaves the café for work with his Iced Americano in one hand and his briefcase in the other, the incident shoved back into one of his many memory folders in the back of his mind to think about later.

 

* * *

 

The air in the room is stifling as they all watch Taeyong and Johnny make their way to the podium at the front, their breaths’ held as Taeyong turns on the monitor.  
Leaning against the wall standing next to Wendy, Jeno tries his best to not let his eyes linger too long on Jaemin who is sitting at a table at the other side of the room. His heart still hurts and he still can’t truly process the other’s words as they ring continuously in his head. Luckily his attention is taken back to the front as the first slide appears on screen.  
The corpses of two teenage girls can be seen lying on what seems to be a picnic blanket, on the photo next to it a middle-aged man laid against a window.

“Cha Yubin and Eun Jihyo were found yesterday afternoon after their parents voiced concern when they didn’t return the evening before. The two girls were seemingly having a date at the top of the lighthouse. The lighthouse keeper Kang Minhyuk, also uncle of Eun Jihyo, was found shortly after in the control room.”

He motions for Johnny to skip to the next slide, a close up to one of the girls. “They were all stabbed to death. Cha Yubin’s eyes were additionally scratched out post mortem.” The girl’s bloody and disfigured eye sockets look back at them in response and Jeno feels a shiver run down his spine.

“Eun Jihyo’s mother also remarked this morning that her daughter’s hair hadn’t been this short the last time she saw her. It is unknown if the girl had it cut before or if it was done by the killer.”

Next to him Wendy raises her hand and Taeyong nods at her to speak.

“With all due respect, but with how messy and chopped off it looks it seems obvious to me that it was done by the killer. At least I don’t know of any current hairstyles like that, that girls would willingly wear.” Sooyoung also nods in agreement at Wendy’s words and Taeyong shares a brief look with Johnny before Wendy continues. “I also knew her, her family lives on my street and she was always very proud of her healthy long hair. I think it very unlikely that she would cut it short after having spent so long on letting it grow.”

Wendy’s face was pale as she said that, her eyes fixed on the photo of the girl’s corpse on the screen. Jeno squeezes her shoulder in support and she breaks her gaze away from the picture to give him a tight smile. Taeyong looks at them grimly before he bows his head in understanding.

“We’ve also though that this seems more likely but this concludes it, thank you Detective Son.”

She nods as she let’s out a shaky breath and wraps her arms around herself, Jeno drops his hand to give her space.

“Might there be a specific reason why Cha Yubin’s eyes were gorged out?” Jaehyun asks from his spot. Johnny nods in response with a stern expression.

“Cha Yubin had been blind since birth, we think that the culprit might have thought of it as an… well, imperfection.”

Jeno grimaces slightly as memories of Nakamoto’s victims flood through his mind, all of them people Jeno would have described as classically picture book worthy beautiful, even in the face of death. He’s immediately taken back though as something else comes to his mind.

“It wouldn’t make sense though.” He voices out loud, gaining the attention of everyone in the room. Jeno can feel the prickle of Jaemin’s gaze on him.  
Taeyong’s eyes are inquisitive as they look at him from the front. “Would you elaborate this please, Detective Lee.”

“If the killer was so bothered by this so called ‘imperfection',” he air quotes, “then why would they mangle Eun Jihyo’s hair like that? Especially if it was as pretty as Detective Son said, it just doesn’t make sense to me.”

“Was he perhaps trying to recreate something?” Sooyoung muses and everyone looks thoughtful for a moment until Johnny suddenly snaps his fingers like he got an idea.

“We’ve concluded that he might be Nakamoto’s copycat already, but doesn’t her face and hair colour remind you of someone?”

Everyone’s gaze returns to the screen at the front to look sharply at the picture of Eun Jihyo. Most of the people in the room look confused or in thought and Jeno is honestly one of them. He doesn’t understand what Lieutenant Seo is trying to get at before his attention is taken by the sight of Jaemin visibly paling, shortly follow by Jaehyun who stands up in shock. Jeno’s eyes widen as realization comes to him.

It was so obvious, he should have thought of it sooner.

Taeyong seems to have seen that they have noticed what Johnny meant as he eyes them with a grim expression, his mouth a tight line.

“She currently has the same bleached hair colour and similar facial features as Dong Sicheng, Nakamoto’s last victim.”

“Lieutenant, you don’t think that he was trying to make her look more like him, do you?”

Johnny looks at Sooyoung. “I do.”

Their suspicions of it being a copycat killer have been confirmed.

 

* * *

 

_“What? You’re ditching me again today?”_

_Jeno looked back at him with a guilty expression as he adjusted his Power Ranger backpack on his back. “I’m sorry Nana, but I promised my mum I would help Renjun arrange his room today.”_

_This was the fourth time in a row and Jaemin was honestly fed up by now. Last week a new family had moved into the empty house down Jeno’s street and apparently Jeno’s mother was very close with the mother of the newly moved in family. The family had three sons, the eldest being their age, which had led to Jeno having to show and help him around at his mother’s request, but also leading to Jeno having had less time to spent with Jaemin after elemtary school. Jaemin already knew that he wasn’t going to like that new boy._

_“I promise you, next time we will play together!” Jeno gripped Jaemin’s hands in his tightly as he puffed up his chest and cheeks, his face stern as if the fate of the world laid on the promise. Jaemin pouted for a second but then nodded seriously in response as he shook their hands._

_“Next time we can also do something together with Renjunie!” Jeno chirped, happy with the other’s reaction as he skipped along the road. “Renjun is going to join our class next week. You will like him, Nana!”_

_The smile he sent back at Jaemin was blinding but he could only return it half-heartedly. He definitely wasn’t going to like Renjun._

 

* * *

 

“Dr. Na? Hey, Jaemin!”

Fingers snapped in front of his face, successfully bringing him out of his thoughts as he took one last look at the notes he had taken about Nakamoto last night. He turns an apologetic smile to the other doctor who just smiles in exasperation.

“You have your next appointment in a few minutes, we should get ready.”

A quick glance at his phone confirms that he should indeed hurry up, so he quickly downs the last of his coffee before he throws on his doctor’s coat to follow Jungwoo out the door.

“You shouldn’t drink so much coffee, you know? You’ll end up having to drink more and more for it to have effect.” The older raises an amused eyebrow at him and Jaemin chuckles lightly.

“You’re actually not the first one to tell me that.”

Jungwoo gasps in mock surprise. “What? I didn’t expect that at all.” They both laugh lightly as they walk down the long white corridors. They reach their destiny as they came closer to the door at the end of the hall, the letters reading ‘0.127 Nakamoto Yuta’ having become familiar to him by now as they enter the room.  
Jaemin follows what has by now become routine for him, he smooths out his coat at the back as he sits down to avoid creases and places his open notebook on his lap before giving Jungwoo a nod to signal the start of the recording. Jungwoo smiles back at him in encouragement before flipping the switch on. Behind the glass wall Nakamoto Yuta smiles at him serenely from the connected room.

_Even if it’s going to be a hard day, that’s alright._

“Good afternoon, Mr. Nakamoto.” He greets the man politely as he clicks his pen open.

 “Good afternoon, Dr. Na.” The Japanese man continues to smile at him almost charmingly, a blatant change from their first meeting. “Is Winwin still on leave?”

 _Ah_ , always direct to the point of his true interest.

“Yes, Dr. Dong is still on a sick leave.” He sees no harm in giving Nakamoto the information.

“Ahh, my Winwinie’s so sensitive.” Nakamoto’s eyes drift off as he smiles dreamily while in thought of the pretty Chinese man. “I’ve always had a big impact on him.”

This time the smile Nakamoto turns to him is almost lecherous and dripping in double meaning. Jaemin almost misspells a word while taking notes but corrects himself in time.

“Have you thought about the offer from our last session, Mr. Nakamoto?”

Behind the glass a thudding noise can be heard as Yuta leans his head back against the wall to inspect his nails. “Has the copycat become an official copycat now?” He asks lazily as his smile stretches wider, Jaemin crosses his legs and gives a slight nod.

“It’s been confirmed and proven now since yesterday by the new murder last week.”

The Japanese male lift his head to look at him as if curious, both his eyebrows raised and smile still intact.

“Oh, how interesting. So you want my insight in the hopes of catching that person faster?” The question was less a question as it was a statement the way Nakamoto said it as he looks at him in amusement.

Next to the wall Jungwoo turns up the volume of the voice transfer as he and Jaemin share brief eye contact before he turns back to give a light nod at Nakamoto.

The inmate props his chin up on his palm as he turns his head to the wall and chuckles silently, before he looks back at Jaemin again. “Isn’t this a bit too Hannibal Lecter? You know, I never ate my little dolls, Dr. Na.”

The smile on his face is borderline obscene as it spreads wider across his face. “Though I really wish I had eaten my Winko up.”

Jaemin tries to not let it irk him too much, tries to not see Renjun’s face in Sicheng. From the corner of his eyes he can see Jungwoo mouth the words ‘What a pervert’ and lets it sooth him as he suppresses a small smile at the other doctor’s disgusted expression.

“Will you accept our offer, Mr. Nakamoto?”

In the other room he taps his chin lightly, still propped up on his hand as he smiles back at Jaemin like he was contemplating it.

“Tell me, what might I get out of this?” Nakamoto continues to smile serenely up at him. Somehow in that short second Jaemin felt more like the one trapped behind a glass wall inside the room.

“There are a lot of benefits.” Jaemin states calmly as he looks down onto the list that Kun had given him. “I heard that you have been asking for books from Dost-“, but Nakamoto just waves him off before he can even finish.

“No, no, I’m not talking about anything materialistic.”

Jaemin eyes the other with a trained blank expression. “Well then Mr. Nakamoto-“

“Yuta.” He interrupts Jaemin again. “Call me Yuta.”

Normally he doesn’t call his patients by first name and refrains himself from doing it, but here he feels like this might be a major step.

“Well then, Yuta, what is it that you would like from me?”

Yuta leans forward slightly as he smiles at him with wide eyes, a strange glint behind them.

 

* * *

 

_“It was a hard day, wasn’t it, Jeno?”_

_Renjun laughed lightly when Jeno pretended to stretch in pain as answer with exaggerated groans. For a moment he watched the sun reflect on Renjun’s black hair but quickly sat up in worry when he noticed that the other’s smile had shifted into a conflicted expression. He brushed a stray strand of hair behind Renjun’s ear as he looked at him in concern._

_“Hey, everything okay? You look like something’s bothering you.”_

_Renjun stopped biting his lower lip to give him a close-lipped smile. “You’ve been spending too much time with Jaemin. You’re becoming as perceptive as him.”_

_In return he just laughed lightly as he scratched his nose but returned his attention back to the other as he watched him fiddle with a bit of grass and resumed back to nibbling his lower lip. After he lay a comforting hand on the small of Renjun’s back the smaller looked back up to him – his cheeks a light red colour and his eyes filled with a storm of emotions._

_“Jeno, I-“_

_Around them he could hear the cicadas chirping and the leaves rustling in the summer wind as they sit in the grass, his gaze solely focused on Renjun who seemed to be struggling with his words._

_“Jeno, I…I think I-I like boys.”_

_His mind went into overdrive as memories of sleepless nights, dirty bedsheets and images of pink hair and thin lips flashed through it._

_Renjun looked up at him with wide – so impossibly wide – eyes, his cheeks a rosy pink and Jeno felt his gut clench and head swim._

_“Renjun wha-what… I mean, you don’t- Renjun you-…” His head swims and aches and he knows this scene, this memory, what he was going to say next as he looks at the smaller, his black hair fluttering in the wind and carrying the scent of honey to him. But it’s all so fuzzy and blurred and he desperately wants to stop himself from saying what he was going to say next, so desperately wants to hold the memory of Renjun looking at him with so much trust and expectation close and never let go but it all becomes blurry._

_The chirping of the cicadas and the rustling becomes louder and louder as he feels his mouth start to form the words he so desperately regrets and he tries to stop himself, but it’s like he has no control over his body anymore – then suddenly it all stops._

_It’s like the world around him has gone still, no wind, no cicadas, nothing moves, nothing. It’s almost stiflingly still but the air has become strangely heavy and his breath quickens._

_Then he hears it._

_It’s like a light buzzing in his ears, almost inaudible as it builds from the back of his head like a slow headache. He feels it come from his right as he slowly turns his head and suddenly sees a forest at the end of the meadow they’re sitting on.  
There’s a metallic taste in the air as the buzzing gets louder, a sense of foreboding coming from the woods as he looks deeper and sees it. _

_There standing between the bushes in the forest is an old-fashioned tin soldier, unnaturally tall like a human and so surreal, its simple face turned their way. The buzzing gets louder and louder as it stares at him with its painted on empty black eyes and his breathing quickens, blood pumping in his ears. The buzzing has become almost unbearably loud and his heart pounds heavily as it keeps starring at him so distortingly, the figure so eerie._  
Jeno can see the leaves and grass starting to rustle again in the wind but he can only hear the loud buzzing and his heavily beating heart until it slowly – so slowly - turns its head and he can hear it creaking. The sound of wood on metal scratching against each other as it turns its painted on smile, the sound joining with the buzzing as it all becomes one loud ringing noise in his head as it turns its gaze away from him.  
Away from him - away to a spot on his left and the ringing immediately turns into a piercing shrill as Jeno whips his head to the person next to him on his left side-

 _“RENJUN-“_  


He wakes up with a start, heart beating rapidly and sheets soaked with sweat. He shakily reaches for the glass of water on his nightstand and quickly downs the whole thing in one go as he rakes his hand through his sweaty hair and grimaces at the feeling. He definitely needs to shower.  
A quick glance at the clock tells him that he slept through his alarm and didn’t have time for his usual morning run before work anymore.

His hands are still shaking when he turns on the shower and Jeno wonders what he dreamt about to set him into such a state of panic.

 

* * *

 

Jaemin let’s out a sigh as he resumes typing, the sound of the keyboard the only thing breaking the silence in the empty room. Jungwoo and his other colleagues have already left after the shift change but Jaemin had decided to finish his last reports at work and not at home, hoping that it would somehow relief some of the stress he’s been feeling built up on his shoulders. He wonders if it had been the right decision in joining the copycat killer’s case. Since he had done so he has been sleeping a lot worse, often waking up from nightmares he can’t remember. He doesn’t know what exactly it is, but something about the case keeps bothering him in the back of his mind.

Hell, who is he kidding, he knows exactly what’s been bothering him about it - Jeno’s words from that fateful night keep repeating in his head and his own answer still lays bitter on his tongue.  
The similarities between the two cases aren’t too strong but they’re still there and looking straight at him. The fact that Sicheng and Renjun are cousins is just too much of a coincidence to be ignored. The only thing holding him back from asking Nakamoto if he is also aware of this, is his unwillingness to let the man speak or even think of Renjun.

But if it were all true, if it’s the same culprit, then this case is much bigger than they all originally thought. The question, why the killer has suddenly become active again when he had been safe for so long and what exactly it was about Nakamoto’s murders that made them kill again, would have to be answered. And Jaemin doesn’t know if he’s emotionally ready for it all.  
Jeno seemed too distracted and down the last time he saw him at the debriefing to worry more about this matter and Jaemin feels a stab of guilt at that.

The bright light of the screen is starting to slowly hurt his eyes before he let’s his head drop into his hands with a long sigh. He can already feel the headache coming.

“Jaemin?”

Said male jumps lightly in his chair as he was startled by the sudden voice calling him. He swivels around and sees Kun standing in the doorway with a surprised expression, jacket and briefcase in one arm as he holds the door open with the other. He must have just come from a meeting.

“What are you still doing here? Didn’t your shift end like an hour ago?”

Jaemin spares a quick glance at his phone to see that it had indeed been an hour ago that he said goodbye to Jungwoo as well as a few text messages from his cousin Jisung. Huh, when did the time go by so fast?

Kun let’s out a sigh as he smiles at him in exasperation. “Truly living up to your title as workaholic, I see. I’m surprised no one from the nightshift has send you home yet.”

Jaemin smiles tiredly at the elder in response. “C’mon, let’s walk to the parking lot together. I can use some rest now and you look like you need it, too.” Kun ushers him out with a warm smile and Jaemin lets him as he feels the tiredness settle in his bones as if to prove the elder’s point.

They walk down the long corridors and Jaemin listens as Kun tells him about how his back has been acting up since he moved into a new house some weeks ago and had to carry all the boxes into the rooms.

“Oh, where did you move to?” He asks the other in polite curiosity.

“It’s a small house near the tea fields and the local high school. I don’t know if you know which one I mean, but it’s been empty since the elderly lady that used to live in it died some years ago.”

Jaemin smiles tightly at the other doctor as his chest hurts. “I actually used to live there with my grandmother but left after she died.”

Kun seems taken aback by his answer before he quickly splutters apologies in shame.

“Oh my god, I didn’t know that! I’m so sorry for your loss. I didn’t mean to be insensitive, I apologize.” But Jaemin just gives a tired smile and waves him off.

“It’s okay, don’t worry. I heard that the house has been sold but I didn’t know that it’s you.”

Kun chuckles lightly in response as he rubs his neck. “It was a rather spontaneous decision. My little brother had been complaining about his long way to school and we’ve been saving up for a while, so I thought why not?”

He nods in understanding, remembering his own stressful and gloomy high school days before he looks at the elder with mild surprise.

“You live together with your younger brother?”

“Ah, yes, he’s in the last year of high school and going to graduate soon.” Jaemin smiles at how proud Kun looks as he talks about his younger sibling. “We’re from two different mothers, mine got me when she was still very young and has been divorced from my father for a long time. His new wife is my brother’s mother. They decided to move back to China a few years ago but my brother wanted to stay here, so he’s living with me.”

He listens attentively as Kun keeps talking happily about how his brother has been keeping him on the tip of his toes.

“Did you leave Boseong for your scholarship or was there another reason?”

Kun looks at him in curiosity and Jaemin averts his gaze to look straight ahead, he can see the last rays of daylight shine through the windows of the entrance at the end of the hall.

He tries not to think about a small secretive smile with one dimple showing forever gone, never there to comfort him again. He tries not think of the unbearable distance that had grown between him and Jeno back then, the distance that has come back again. He tries not to think of the empty house he always came back to, empty of the warm presence that used to be his grandmother.

“After she was gone there wasn’t much that held me back here.” Is his short answer. It’s only half of the truth and yet the words hold more meaning than they let on.  
Kun makes a noise of understanding next to him and Jaemin knows, that the elder has read deeper than the initial meaning of the words but is being mindful to give him space. Jaemin is thankful to him for that.

They reach the exit and Kun turns to him with one of his warm smiles, the gloomy mood from before gone as the elder radiates his naturally warm aura. “Well, I’m glad that you decided to come work back here.”  
He gives a small smile back in return and holds the door open to the older in a silent form of his thankfulness.

They step out into the last rays of the sun vanishing behind the hills of cedar woods and Kun lets out a happy chuckle.

“Talk about the devil and he shall appear.”

Jaemin turns to the other with both his eyebrows raised in slight confusion before he sees where he is looking at.

“Gege!”

A teenager is running their direction, waving one of his arms frantically. As he comes closer Jaemin realizes with surprise that it’s the waiter from the café.  
Next to him Kun smiles happily at the teen before turning to Jaemin. “This is my younger brother I was just telling you about.”

He reaches them breathless from running and whines at Kun. “Ge, you took much longer than you told me!”

The elder ruffles his hair in retaliation with a laugh before turning back to Jaemin. “This is Chenle. Chenle, say hello to my friend and co-worker Jaemin. He actually used to live in our new house.”

Chenle, seemingly only having noticed his presence just now, turns to him with wide eyes and it finally clicks in Jaemin’s head why the younger had seemed so familiar to him. Even though they don’t share the same mother Kun and the younger look obviously similar in their facial structure, especially when they smile.

The younger continues to look at him with wide eyes and Jaemin wonders if something Kun said had startled him, though there was nothing noticeable in the statement before.

“It’s nice to officially meet you this time, Chenle.” He smiles politely at the boy and hold out his hand for a handshake. This seems to startle the other out of his shock as he quickly scrambles to shake Jaemin’s hand a bit overeagerly.

“Ah, yes, it’s nice to see you again.” Chenle answers, earning them a confused look from Kun as he tilts his head questioningly.

“You two already know each other?”

“He’s a regular at the café I work at!” The smaller answers his brother with a surprisingly high voice and Kun seems pleased by that.

“The world is truly a small place.” Kun grins at them and Jaemin nods with a light smile as they start the trek to their car again.

“So Jaemin, which room used to be yours if I’m allowed to ask that?” Chenle pipes up from beside his brother.

“Mine was the one right above the kitchen, you can see the lighthouse from the window.” He answers the younger and Kun suddenly turns to him with a surprised smile.

“That’s Chenle’s room now, too!”

He raises his eyebrows lightly in surprise, then turns a small smile to the younger. “Oh is it? Well, it’s a nice room after all.”

The youngest nods his head in agreement but doesn’t meet his eyes. Jaemin notes that he looks deep in thought suddenly.  
He shares light smalltalk with Kun about work and his progress for the rest of the short walk until they reach the elder’s car and he looks around in surprise before looking back at Jaemin.

“Did you not bring your car today, Jaemin?”

He shakes his head in answers. “I walked here today.”

“We can drive you home if you want.” The elder offers but Jaemin shakes his head again in response.

“I felt like taking a walk anyway, but still thank you for the offer.”

Kun nods in understanding. “Well if you say so, but be careful!” He and Chenle then bid their farewell before getting into the car and driving off. Jaemin watches them leave the parking lot before he starts his track back to his own apartment.

He can hear a few cicadas chirping around him and the leaves rustling as the wind carries the scent of tea fields and cedar woods through the air. In the distance some kids can be heard laughing and when he closes his eyes he can almost imagine the sound of dance shoes and tinkling laughter passing by him.  
As he opens his eyes again he sees the image for a short second – two boys smiling widely at him, one with crescent eyes and the other with one dimple showing –

_“Hurry up, Jaemin-ah!”_

“I’m coming! Wait for me!”

He startles as a boy runs past him to catch up with his two friends who had been waiting for him and the image vanishes as quickly as it had come. He snaps his mouth shut in embarrassment as he realizes that he had been just about to answer them himself.  
Jaemin watches the boys run down the street with laughter until they vanish from his sight and he continues his walk home.

The sun has gone down by now and the shops are already starting to close around him with the late hour. A lit up window catches his attention though as he was just about to pass by it.

Behind the shop’s window a pair of simple but pretty ballet shoes is displayed on a white cushion illuminated by warm light, letting the material shine.

_“Even if it’s going to be a hard day, that’s alright.”_

He stands there in the silence of the night and just looks at them for a while before his feet almost move on autopilot.

The doorbell tinkles welcomingly as he enters the shop.

 

* * *

 

_He ran up happily towards the house, his Ninja Turtle backpack bumping against his back the whole way. As he came nearer he could see Jeno’s mother checking their mailbox before she noticed him running up._

_“Good morning, Jaemin-ah.” She smiled prettily at him as he finally reached their porch slightly out of breath as his small chest rose and fell quickly._

_“Good morning Mrs. Lee!” He chirped back happily in response, earning him an amused chuckle and pat on the head._

_“Jeno will be down in just a second, sweetie.”_

_As if on cue the sound of small feet running down the stairs clumsily could be heard from inside shortly followed by Jeno rushing out the door. He grinned happily when he saw Jaemin and the other returned the smile just as full-force. “C’mon Jaemin, let’s go!”_

_Jeno grabbed his hand and was about to make off when his mother stopped him by the end of his collar. She pulled him back to smother him in goodbye kisses, much under Jeno’s protests. “Mum!” He whined before she let him go with one last hug and waved after them as they ran off. “Have fun and behave!”_

_They chattered happily about last night’s Power Ranger episode as they made their way down the street until Jeno suddenly paused in his steps, effectively also making Jaemin stop._

_“What’s wrong? Why would you stop?” He asked the other in surprise._

_“We have to wait. I promised Renjun that we will walk to school together.”_

_Jaemin noticed that they were standing in front of the new kid’s house and couldn’t help the small frown that made its way onto his face. Usually Jaemin was a very warm and welcoming child, always nice and smiling when he met someone new but the new kid had been taking his time from Jeno. And if there was one thing Jaemin didn’t like then it was not being able to spend time with his best friend. Now the new kid was even going to make them late to school._

_He really didn’t like this Renjun._

_He opens his mouth to inform the other about his misgivings but is interrupted by the front door of the house opening. A small boy appeared from behind it and the first thing Jaemin noticed about him was that the big Moomin backpack that almost swallowed his whole frame had a pair of ballet shoes tied onto one if its straps. The second thing he noticed was the happy voice with which Jeno greeted the other. “Renjun, over here!”_

_Jaemin readied himself to give his best glare in welcome but then the boy lifted his head and gave them a small tentative smile and Jaemin-_

_Jaemin had never seen anything lovelier._

 

* * *

 

Sicheng’s face is surprised when he opens his apartment door to see Jeno standing before it with a sheepish smile.

“Hey, can I come in or is it a bad time?”

The Chinese blinks a few times before he opens his door wider to let the other in. “No, no, I’m just surprised.”

He takes his shoes off before he makes his way into the small living room and sits down onto the couch. The apartment is silent except from the occasional small sounds coming out of the kitchen where Jeno guesses Sicheng is preparing tea.  
He’s proven right when said male comes out with a small glass pot and two teacups.

The elder silently pours the tea into the cups before settling down himself opposite of him. Jeno thanks him as he takes the offered cup and blows carefully before he takes a small sip of the hot beverage.

“Oh, this tea is nice.” He remarks in mild surprise and Sicheng looks at him with a pleased smile.

“The old lady from the tea field outside gifted it to me.”

Jeno takes another sip and notes in his head to buy the tea for his mother there next time. Sicheng chuckles as he watches him drink the tea eagerly, earning a quirked eyebrow from Jeno over the rim of his cup.

“Don’t mind me. I was just reminded of Jaemin, is all.”

There’s dull ache in his chest at the mention of the name but he ignores it in favour of looking at Sicheng inquisitively.

“Oh, how come?” He asks as he hides the tight line of his mouth behind his cup and hopes the elder didn’t notice.

Sicheng smiles lightly as he looks into his cup. “It’s just-it’s funny, how he prefers coffee so much over tea even though he grew up here, in the region known for its tea fields and cedar woods.” He continues to chuckle as he hides it behind his delicate hand before he settles down again and looks at Jeno, face more serious now. “But that’s not why you’re here, isn’t it?”

Jeno fakes being hurt as he grips his chest. “Can’t I come visit a friend without having second intentions?” They both laugh lightly at that and Jeno feels bad for not coming here solely to check up on the elder.

“I was worried after I heard from Jaehyun that you took a sick leave.” He takes a closer look at the other and notices the dark circles under his eyes and the tired set of his shoulders. He feels even worse for not having checked up on him sooner and that he has to bring him even more bad news.

“I don’t know if you’ve heard already, but I’m supposed to tell you tha-“

“I know, Jaehyun told me.” The elder interrupts him, his smile strained and face tired. “He told me that I would be assigned a guard next week, he also updated me on the case.”

Jeno balls his fists on top of his knees as he watches Sicheng look out the window, the exhaustion visible on his delicate frame. It’s not fair he thinks, it’s not fair that he has to be restrained and suffer so much again just after he recovered from what happened to him with Nakamoto. It’s not fair that so many bad things happen to innocent people like Sicheng, people like-

_like Renjun._

The pain in his hand from where his fingernails are piercing into his skin snaps him out of it a bit as he loosens his hands and smoothes out his pants with a shaky exhale. He looks up and is surprised when he sees Sicheng still looking out the window, his eyes somewhere else entirely.

“Sicheng? Is something bothering you?”

The elder startles a bit in his seat and turns to blink at him like he almost forgot that Jeno was still there.

“Oh, I’m sorry Jeno.” He sets his still full tea cup carefully down onto the table with slightly shaky hands. “I just haven’t been sleeping well these nights. I keep having these strange nightmares.”

He makes a noise of surprise as he sets his own empty cup down. Sicheng immediately moves to refill it but he stops the elder with a gentle hand and takes the pot from him to do it himself.

“I’ve also been having nightmares.”

Sicheng looks at him with wide eyes and Jeno happily notes that the elder is finally taking sips from his tea. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Jeno shakes his head and scratches his nose lightly with a sheepish smile. “I don’t want to burden you with my problems even further when you have so much to deal with at the moment yourself.”

But Sicheng just smiles gently at him. “I really don’t mind, it actually helps distract me from my worries.” In return Jeno laughs nervously while he fiddles with the material of his pants above his spread knees.

“There really isn’t much to talk about, actually. When I wake up I have already forgotten most of it, the only thing I know is that my heart is always beating really hard and I’m sweating a lot after.” He pauses for a moment as Sicheng watches him with attentive eyes and swallows.

“But I think I was really… scared.”

Sicheng nods in understanding and Jeno averts his gaze as he fiddles with his fingers again.

“It’s the same for me.”

He snaps his gaze back up and sees Sicheng looking out the window again, his eyes far away, seeing something only he can.

For a moment he thinks about also telling the other about his current situation with Jaemin but quickly dismisses that thought again. He isn’t even sure himself how to describe it. He only knows that the unbearable distance is back again, that Jeno is the one unwilling to reach out to Jaemin again. But this time not because of his own internal struggles, but because the Jaemin looking back at him suddenly seems so foreign to him.

“But when I look out the window -” He turns his attention back to Sicheng in surprise, the elder still looking outside, “I almost feel like it’s slowly coming back to me, like a –“

“Like a sense of foreboding.” He finishes for the elder as he also looks outside the window, past the tea fields and into the cedar woods.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey!!! sorry for taking so long, but as I mentioned this fanfic will be updated very slowly since I'm lowkey 365 so stressed.  
> Anyways this chapter has a lot of filler content and might be a bit boring to read since I had to lay a lot of ground for the plot of later chapters. I also tried to create a certain atmosphere and built suspense, so I hope that at least worked somehow orz.  
> Initially this chapter was supposed to be longer and have a different end but then I think it would have become too long and cramped so I saved that part for the next chapter. But now I've left you with a pretty open and shady end, so also sorry about that orz (Can you see that I have a problem with dividing the plot onto the chapters?)  
> I also have two endings for this story in my head and thought about giving you a shady poll to vote but I'm not that mean so I'll just outright ask if you prefere a happy or sad ending.  
> Also sorry for typos and plotholes since this story is not beta read and I'm pretty much making most of the story up as I go.  
> Thank you for reading!!! Comments and suggestions are always appreciated!!


	3. east of the sun

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it has been like thirty years since I last updated and I. Am. So. Sorry.

 

_The letters looked shaky on the envelope he held in his hands, a clear display of how overwhelmed he had been, still was. It was almost mocking him as he was reminded of the night that his emotions had overtook him and made him write them all down into one letter, his confessions, his longing, his love, all for Renjun. He thinks of ripping it apart, of throwing it away. He currently had enough problems at it is with his grandma being in hospital again - but the thought of a secretive smile made him stop._

_All these emotions, all this love he held bottled up, all written down in one letter. If he were to just give it to Renjun –_

_His door creaked open and he quickly turned around in shock, the letter hastily shoved into his desk’s cupboard behind his back._

_“Hello? Jaemin-ah?”_

_Renjun peeked through the open door and let out a fond sigh when he saw him standing there in surprise. “Didn’t you hear me call? You left the front door open again.”_

_Renjun gave him a small smile as he shook his head scoldingly, hands at his hips. All Jaemin could do was gape at the elder, too shocked by the sudden appearance of the person who held his affection when he was still a mess of reeling emotions. After a few seconds of him not answering Renjun the elder’s eyes turned soft, his tone worried as he carefully moved closer._

_“What got you so distracted again, Jaemin? You didn’t come to school today, too.”_

_He felt the tiredness settle in his bones again when he was reminded of the night before. The emptiness, the melancholy, too many emotions and yet feeling not enough emotions holding him awake when all he wanted was sleep.  
A hand gently grasping his bought him back to the present as he saw Renjun standing just a few centimetres away from him, gazing up into his eyes imploringly._

_“Where are you going with your thoughts again, Jaemin-ah?”_

_Renjun’s eyes were warm and reminded him so much of happy summer nights and the familiar sweet taste of his grandmother’s sikhye. The thought of his grandmother just made him sadder and he wanted to see her lively smile again, and he wanted to drink her sikhye, and he wanted to kiss Renjun so much. He wanted it all, but he didn’t know how to reach it and that knowledge just destroyed him._

_Renjun must have sensed his inner conflicts as he gently pulled Jaemin towards the couch. He laid down, his head propped up on the arm rest. He pulled Jaemin down with him to lay on top of him and cradled his head to his chest._

_Jaemin basked in the comfort that Renjun bought with him and nosed into the other’s shirt, inhaling the light scent of honey as he closed his eyes._

_“Are you worried about your grandmother?” The smaller gently carded through his hair in a soothing manner and Jaemin felt himself relax a little bit._

_He wanted to tell the other that it wasn’t just that, that it was just a part of it. He had been fine the whole week, had smiled happily at his grandma whenever he visited her in the hospital. But last night he had lain awake, unable to sleep but also unable to do anything else but just laying still. Until he finally fell asleep hours later and when he woke up he just felt so tired, so very, very tired._

_He wanted to tell Renjun it all and yet he didn’t know how, so he just nodded his head in return and let the other comfort him._

_“Even if it’s going to be a hard day, that’s alright.”_

_He moved his head so he could look up at the elder who’s eyes were warm and smiled at his go-to comfort words. “Because you’ll be there to make it better, right?”_

_Renjun’s cheeks reddened as Jaemin smiled at him cheekily, causing him to chuckle lightly. “I promise I’ll always be there for you, as long as you always come back home to me.” His heart stuttered at the smaller’s sincere words and he suddenly longed to kiss him as Renjun continued to smiles at him. He was shaken out of his thoughts though when his nose was pinched by a scolding Renjun. “That doesn’t mean that you can just skip school to stay at home though!”_

_It didn’t really help matters that the elder still looked unbearably cute when angry to Jaemin but he nodded along anyway as he rubbed his now red nose.  
Both their heads turned to the door when it was unceremoniously shoved open - Jeno’s proud form standing in the door way. _

_“Jaemin, you left the front door open again! Renjun’s gonna be so ma-“ He promptly stopped and let out a loud noise of disbelief when he saw them laying on the couch together. “Are you two cuddling without me!?” And then promptly moved to throw himself on top of them, wrapping his arms around them in a clumsy bear hug. Renjun made a noise of complaint at the added weight lying on him but Jaemin just laughed, Jeno joining him when Renjun tried to hug them both but ultimately failed because his arms were too short._

_He spared a short glance at his desk’s cupboard, at the letter lying inside, and shoved that thought away for another day to worry about._

 

* * *

 

To say that he is mildly surprised to see his cousin waiting in front of his apartment door after arriving from work would be an understatement. Then again, Jisung has been texting him for days, telling him that he will come over to, as he likes to put it, hang out soon.

Jaemin moves to ruffle the younger’s hair with a smile tired from work. Jisung quickly shoves it away and rearranges his hair with a slight pout much to Jaemin’s amusement. “Here to visit your favourite cousin?” The younger just gives him a light stink-eye as he watches him open the door, still trying to tame his hair. “You’re my only cousin.”

But Jaemin just lets him in with what he hopes is a winning smile as he holds the door open for the younger. “Which automatically makes me your favourite cousin.” Like the teenager he is, Jisung rolls his eyes before he walks in and takes a look around.

“Also makes you my least favourite cousin.”

As if he didn’t just offend Jaemin the younger walks over to his fridge and takes out a can of sikhye like he owned the house. The nerve of that kid.  
He wonders where the shy spluttering pre-teen that cutely called him hyung went as he watches Jisung plop himself on his couch before taking a sip of the drink.  
The younger’s expression is pinched and his nose scrunched cutely as he puts the can down onto the couch table. He turns his incredulous expression towards Jaemin who’s still standing in the doorframe. “That canned stuff is disgusting. Why would you buy that?”

He lets out a sigh and sits down opposite the younger before taking a big gulp from the can himself. He suppresses his own frown at the bland taste. Honestly, it isn’t _that_ bad.

“It isn’t that bad, you’re just too spoiled by grandma’s sikhye recipe.”

“Yeah duh, this doesn’t even come close to it.” Jisung rolls his eyes at him and Jaemin sticks out his tongue in retaliation before downing the whole can much to the younger’s disgust. With an exaggerated pleased sigh he sets the now empty can back down onto the table and grins at his cousin. “Well, you have a mother who can make it for you, and I just don’t have the time.”

By the mere mention of his mother Jisung’s expression immediately turns guilty and suddenly, he’s back to the shy, insecure pre-teen. Jaemin instantly feels bad for making the other feel guilty just because of his own bad relationship with his aunt.

He tries to smile reassuringly at the younger but it probably only looks wry, so he quickly tries to divert the situation. “So, uhm, how is school?” He cringes inwardly at his own bad try at small talk. “It’s okay I guess, I still have one year to go before graduation so I took a part-time job to pay for my dance classes myself.”

“Wow, that’s great Jisung! Where are you working at?”

The younger’s cheeks redden slightly at Jaemin’s enthusiastic words and he reclines bashfully on the couch. “I just do deliveries for a small restaurant near the fire department.”

“That’s still impressive! Talking about deliveries, should we order something in for dinner? I’ll pay in celebration.” At those words Jisung immediately nods his head enthusiastically before calling, “I want chicken!”

Once their food has arrived they choose to eat at the couch table for more comfort. They talk about the days back at their grandmother’s place and school and Jisung’s dance classes. He’s happy and yet sad to hear that the old dance rooms have been completely renovated. Memories of when Jeno and him used to watch Renjun’s ballet classes just before their own dance practice started  to float through his mind. And he wonders if the rooms look a lot different than from before now.

Jisung chews his pickled radish thoughtfully, mouth shaped a bit like a mouse’s before he swallows to talk. “So how’s the work with the police been?”

Jaemin takes a swig of his beer before answering. “Interesting, a bit stressful since it’s added to my regular working hours but also nice to work with some familiar faces.”

“Ah, Jeno and some of your old basketball friends are in the police force, right? They always order from the restaurant I work at.”

The beer tastes slightly more bitter when he hears Jeno’s name and he swallows it down quickly. He can’t keep feeling this way every time he hears the other’s name. Inwardly he knows he should do something but he’s always been a coward.

So he tries not to let his guilt show when he nods at the younger as answer and takes another sip of his beer before trying to change the topic.

“You said the practice rooms have been redone, how do they look now?”

Jisung shrugs lightly in return and scratches his nose in thought of how to describe it. “More modern, a lot brighter than before, with more lamps and mirrors. The windows are also wider now. The new stereo system is pretty nice. All in all it looks almost completely different, but I’m glad about that.” Jaemin doesn’t know if he returns the sentiment, the feeling of more and more parts of his childhood being ripped from him stabs through his chest.

“When it still used to look like before, I… uh, I sometimes – you know – I sometimes thought I still saw him.” Jaemin doesn’t even have to ask who Jisung meant. The can of beer feels cold in his hand and the perspiration slowly dripping down the tin onto his fingers even colder. “He would be practicing his arabesques at the mirror or scolding Chenle and me for our bad demi détournés.”

They’re both thrown back in time to when him and Jeno would sit and laugh at Renjun trying desperately to teach a group of loud children the basics of ballet, Jisung sitting in the middle of the lot – having already been tall for his age back then. Jaemin is taken aback though when he remembers the loud kid with the high-pitched laugh always next to his cousin and then truly registers the younger’s words.

“Wait, Chenle?”

“Yeah, you still remember him? I didn’t think you would since you didn’t really interact with each other. We’re still pretty close.” Jisung looks pleasantly surprised but Jaemin rubs his temple as he connects the dots.

“I met him some days ago after work since his older brother is my boss, but I didn’t really remember him until now. I wonder why he didn’t say anything.” But Jisung just shrugs at him as he sucks loudly on the straw of his peach juice. “As I said, you two didn’t really interact with each other back then. He probably didn’t recognize you either.” While Jisung has a point, Jaemin can’t help but remember the young Chinese’s shocked expression when he heard Jaemin’s name back then in the café.

“You know,” Jisung nibbles lightly on his straw as he looks up at him, “When I read that the killings had been done by a copycat killer, I first thought they meant of the Huang-family killing and not of the Dollmaker killings.”

Jaemin stiffens. “Why would you think that?” He tries to sound nonchalant as he asks that, but truthfully he has to suppress the trembling in his fingers as he sets his can of beer down on the table. In the back of his mind Jeno’s words keep repeating in his head and guilt starts to slowly run through his veins.

Jisung looks thoughtful and slightly uncomfortable as his shoulders draw up but then seems to take a burst of confidence and his expression settles on serious. “Family members killed, their corpses dressed up and displayed in a macabre play of what they had been doing before their death. Doesn’t that sound familiar to you?” The younger raises an eyebrow but doesn’t look at him as he’s still deep in thought.

_Even if it’s going to be a hard day, that’s alright._

“A lot of killers like to mock their victims that way, it’s not the most uncommon motive – a scream for attention. They see the act of murder more as a form of art than a crime.”

Jisung finally turns to him with a slightly confused furrow in his brows. “Then why does the police think it’s a copycat of Nakamoto?”

Jaemin lets out a sigh at his cousin’s curiosity and massages his temples. “I can’t tell you too much about the case, you know? It’s confidential.” Before the younger can voice his protests, he stops him by holding his hand up in a sign that he wasn’t finished yet. “What I can tell you though, is that Nakamoto and the copycat weren’t mocking their victims. They were displaying them, but for what reason exactly I still have to find out.”

The gruesome images Nakamoto’s victims made come to his mind. Their youthful faces still beautiful in death, even underneath all the make up and dresses. He hopes Jisung will never see those pictures.

Jisung nods but still looks slightly unsatisfied with his answer. But the younger knows he won’t get much more out of his cousin. He takes a short look at the tired set of shoulders and the pale skin and thinks, that he also doesn’t want to ask more of the other.

“Still, so many incidents in this small town and just one day after the 9th anniversary of their murder, it’s too strange.” Jisung mumbles to himself as he shakes his head before he drinks from his peach juice again. Unknowingly Jaemin hears his mumbles and he misses the way the older’s eyes draw up in remorse for a second before his face goes blank again and he turns to look out the window towards the woods.

“It’s been nine years. There’s no way.” Jaemin whispers, but it was said so silently that only he could hear it. So who is he truly trying to convince here?

_“Even if it’s going to be a hard day, that’s alright.”_

* * *

 

“Okay, word has been out now after the press conference last week, so the public eye is even more on us now.” Taeyong looks at them all sternly. “Which means more reporters, more witness calls, longer shifts and more pressure on all of us.”

There is a tense silence as a few officers and detectives shift in their seats. Some of them have been through the drill already with the Nakamoto Dollmaker case, but having such a big case on them is still strange. Especially in such a small town in the county of Boseong, where you have either tea fields or cedar woods around you. A killer, especially a serial killer, isn’t exactly the usual here.

Jeno is already familiar with the routine and therefor doesn’t feel as overwhelmed as most in the room. The only thing throwing him off-balance is Jaemin sitting in the row in front of him. He wonders how long they will keep tip-toeing around each other.

“We will go through the Dollmaker Case and the Copycat killings for today to look if we can find any new leads. Sargent Seo, if you would please.” Taeyong steps aside to let Johnny stand beside him at the podium as he turns on the monitor.

“The Dollmaker Case includes six murders, one of which we don’t know the victim and therefor not the location of its body of.” A mugshot of a young man shows up. “The culprit, Nakamoto Yuta, has told us of the sixth murder but refused to give us any more information.”

“Nakamoto, a 34 years-old male, came ten years ago from Japan to Boseong and worked here as an editor. The first murder happened 13 months ago.”

The picture on the screen changed to one of a boy’s corpse lying next to a pond. From afar it looks like it was a girl, but on a closer look it becomes clear, that it’s a boy in a dress, hair dishelved and make-up smudged. He would have looked beautiful, were it not for the situation that he was found like that.

“Nakamoto’s trademark is picking up young boys and dressing them up before killing them. In our interviews with him, he likes to call them his ‘dolls’, therefore the nickname he was given.”

Johnny continues to switch to pictures of the other victims while talking.

“He would display their corpses, usually making them look like they were doing normal day activities. The crime scene would also be decorated accordingly. Which leads us to the copycat killer.”

With a click of the remote, the presentation changes to one of the current murders. “The victims seem to be dresses up and their corpses made to act out certain tasks. We have also drawn the conclusion that they tried to recreate Dong Sicheng, Nakamoto’s last and only surviving victim.”

As if on cue, the door to the room opens silently and Sicheng walks in with hesitant steps. Johnny immediately scrambles to turn off any monitors that still showed pictures from the crime scenes of Nakamoto’s killings as Jaehyun quickly stands up to guide the Chinese male to the free seat next to him.

A light murmur goes through the room as a few officers glance at the doctor curiously as Jaehyun bristles up beside him, like he’s trying to cover Sicheng from their sight. Jeno and Jaemin smile lightly in greeting when they catch Sicheng’s gaze, and the older returns it shyly.

In turn Taeyong clears his throat to turn the attention back on himself. “Well then, since these events, Sergeant Seo and I have come to the conclusion that Dr. Dong is in need of protection.”

Said male stiffens slightly at those words and Jeno resists the urge to bring him out of the room and away from the situation.

“Two officers or detectives to bring and pick him up from work, occasionally accompany him during other tasks or if he need to go somewhere, so not the whole day but when he is in vulnerable locations.”

Before Taeyong can even ask if there are any volunteers, Jaehyun has already lift his arm, causing Sicheng to blush lightly next to him.

“I’ll do it! I mean, uh, Sicheng-ssi and I are friends, so I already have his schedules memorized.” The detective quickly explains himself and Jeno barely holds in a snicker at his badly contained enthusiasm. Taeyong nods his head in understanding and approval.

“Any volunteering partner?”

Jeno raises his hand. “I am also friends with Dr. Dong and therefore familiar with his working hours.”

“Well then, for now Detective Lee and Jung will be assigned to this position. I will also hand in a request for two officers downstairs to back you up. Further details will be discusses once I have the assignments.” Their captain looks at them seriously and Jeno and Jaehyun nod in understanding.

Taeyong then glances briefly at Sicheng in the back before turning his eyes towards Jaemin. “Doctor Na, has there been any progress with Nakamoto?”

Jaemin clears his throat as he sits up straight in his seat. “Nakamoto has agreed to join the case-”

A relieved smile spreads in Taeyong’s face, but before he can say anything though, Jaemin has already lift his hand to stop him and continues. “-but only under certain circumstances.”

The small smile immediately falls from Taeyong’s face and is replaced by a frown. “Which circumstances?”

Jaemin glances briefly at Sicheng, but the elder only nods his head in encouragement, so he answers, “He wants the interviews to be done in one room, not his cell and no separation between us.”

The frown on Taeyong’s face deepens as his brows furrow, but he motions for Jaemin to go on. “And he wants Dr. Dong to be there as well.”

At that the police captain immediately protests loudly as he slams his hand onto the podium. “Absolutely not.”

Johnny rushes to the other and starts to discuss with him harshly in whispered tones. Jeno watches them argue with a light frown, knowing that Taeyong is being influenced by his own personal feelings but also understanding him since he also doesn’t want Sicheng to get close to Nakamoto.

Before the two men at the front can start shouting at each other though, Jaemin continues again. “I discussed it with Nakamoto, and he has agreed that it’s okay if Dr. Dong is another room, as long as he watches and listens to the interview while it happens.”

“And I have agreed to these terms already.”

At that the whole room falls silent after Sicheng spoke up and Taeyong turns to look at him seriously. They look at each other in silence for a while before the elder lets his shoulders drop.

“Are you sure about this, Sicheng?” Taeyong asks softly in resignation and the other only nods in return.

Wringing his hands together, Jaemin wonders why it feels like they’re all running into something they’re not prepared for.

 

* * *

 

_The letter in his hand crumpled as he continued gripping it tightly as Renjun looked up at him curiously. Around them the birds chirped loudly from their spots in the trees while the forest keeps rustling in the wind._

_“What is it Jaemin?” The smaller asked with a soft smile and Jaemin could feel his heart slowly melting. He breathed out harshly, tried to summon up his courage, but ended up slumping his shoulders when he couldn’t._

_“I want to tell you something, Injun-ah, but I’m afraid how you’ll react.” He whispered in defeat._

_In turn Renjun tilted his head as he considers him. “How about I tell you a secret of my own? Then we’ll both have revealed something we’re afraid of.” He whispered in return and Jaemin could have cried. Instead he nodded his head shakily and Renjun laughed nervously._

_“Yesterday Jeno and I, we talked… and I-I told him-“_

_The smaller let out a shaky breath and Jaemin looked at him intently. Looked at his red cheeks, his glassy eyes, looked at his absent expression as he talked about Jeno. Remembered how Renjun would always preen under the attention of their other friend. And felt his own heart stop._

_“I told Jeno that I lik-“_

_“I’m in love with Jeno.”_

_The words had left Jaemin’s mouth before he could truly register what he was saying. And he didn’t know why he kept talking, he only knew that Renjun was looking at him with wide eyes full of shock. “I’ve been in love with him for a while now and I would like it if you can support me.”_

_His hands shook at his own words and he didn’t even know why he said them, didn’t know why he would lie, why he would break Renjun’s heart like this when the smaller was clearly in love with Jeno himself. But he knew that Renjun would never do anything to hurt him, and he knew that he would now never confess his feeling for Jeno anymore._

_Renjun looked at the ground with shaking eyes, clearly trying to compose himself as he turned paler and paler. When finally looked back up at Jaemin, it was with wet eyes and a strained smile._

_“Th-that’s great, Jaemin-ah! Of course I will support you!”_

_The smaller looked so close to breaking down and the letter in Jaemin’s hand crumpled fully._

_He was disgusted with himself._

_The wind around them suddenly picks up and the old pigeonry behind them creaks ominously. Jaemin frowns, wonders since when they stood in front of the run-down structure so far in the woods. His eyebrows furrow._

_Something about this situation feels off. Feels like it wasn’t supposed to be like this. Like it didn’t happen like this._

_“Why did you ignore my calls, Jaemin?”_

_He is broken out of his thoughts by the sudden question and he looks at the smaller in apprehension._

_“Why didn’t you answer my texts, Jaemin?”_

_His heart stops as dread and guilt sink into him and he scrambles to answer him but only came up with empty excuses. Behind Renjun the pigeonry stands dark, only blackness seeping out from behind the boards that held it shut._

_“Why weren’t you there for me, when I needed you most, Jaemin?”_

_The smaller looks at him emptily and all sound vanishes, only the creaking of wood reverberating in the woods as something reaches out from between the gaps._

_Two stiff, wooden hands creep out of the pigeonry and wind around Renjun’s throat and cover his eyes._

_Jaemin screams out for the younger, but it gets stuck in his throat and he calls out silently, trying to reach for him._

_A pair of drawn on, empty eyes are visible peeking out between the rotten wood in the darkness and the heavy stench of iron fills the air._

_“Why are you ignoring all the signs, Jaemin? Why won’t you admit that the cases are linked, Jaemin?”_

_His name falls off the rosy lips hauntingly._

_“Why did you give up on me, Jaemin?”_

_As if consuming him, the darkness from the pigeonry seems to eat up everything around it. The painted on eyes keep on watching him as the hands around Renjun tighten. From beneath them tears run down Renjun’s cheeks._

_“You owe it to me, Jaemin.”_

 

His eyes snap out with a cold sweat, one hand reached out towards the ceiling like he was trying to grasp something. Or someone.

With trembling limbs Jaemin slowly sits up in bed and buries his head in his hands. He lets out a small sob, shoulders shaking with every intake of air. What was that? _What was that?_

He grips at his tightly, trying to gather his thoughts and himself as tears keep running down his face.

“Even if it’s going to be a hard day, that’s alright. Even if it’s going to be a hard day, that’s al-“

Just when he has calmed down a little, his doorbell rings. He stops in his mantra and slowly looks up. He wonders if he should just ignore it since he’s not in a state that he can receive guests, but then he is reminded that it might be something important from work. So he stands up on shaky legs and quickly throws on a shirt before padding to the door.

What he certainly didn’t expect when he opened it, was to find Chenle standing there uncertainly, a letter clutched in his hands.

“Ch-Chenle? Did something happen?” He asks in confusion, aware that he must still look pale and thrown off from his dream as the younger looks up at him nervously.

“I’m sorry to disturb you so early, hyung.” Chenle greets him with a small bow that Jaemin quickly returns. “But there’s something I need to give back to you.”

“Give back to me?” At the information Jaemin furrows his brows slightly. Before he can ask anymore though, the younger already holds out the letter in his hand. Confusion is still evident on his face as he takes it hesitantly.

His eyes widen when he looks at it.

“I’m sorry, I read it, hyung.” Chenle whispers with his head held down. “I didn’t think I would ever see you again, and the letter was addressed to Renjun-ge. I thought there might be something important in it.”

Jaemin looks at the crumpled envelope in his hand, the writing and folds on it still the exact way he remembers it from nine years ago.

“Wh-where did you get this, Chenle?” He asks, his voice a shaky whisper.

“I found it in the cupboard of the desk you left behind in your room.” Chenle answers him and Jaemin nods his head absentmindedly, eyes still glued on the letter. The memory of how he had thrown it inside there to be forgotten and repressed like his feelings after he had lied so blatantly to Renjun comes back to him.

“Hyung, I don’t want to pry,” The Chinese boy speaks up in a small voice, so unlike how he usually talks loudly, “But I think Renjun gege would have really appreciated it.”

At that Jaemin tries to muster up a small smile, knows that it looks strained and tired, but Chenle doesn’t seem to mind as he smiles back with slightly wet eyes.

“Thank you, Chenle.”

They bid each other good bye softly, both a bit overwhelmed with emotions. Back inside his bedroom, Jaemin sits down on his bed, envelope still clutched tightly in his hands.

Carefully with trembling fingers he takes out the letter. His eyes roam over the old yet familiar writing, every word of the content still engraved into his mind. Still, when he reads the first two words, a tear manages to escape his eye. He sees what he had never been able to tell Renjun. And he sees it for what it is.

A chance never taken.

 

* * *

 

His shoes squeak lightly on the polished floor in the halls of the psychiatric clinic. In turn Sicheng’s soft loafers don’t make any sound at all as he walks next to him. Like he felt Jeno’s gaze on him, the other looks up from his documents and smiles lightly at him.

They enter a room labelled only for staff, revealing what seems to be a break room. “You two can sit down while we wait.” Sicheng motions to a couch at the corner before moving towards the small kitchen area. “Do you want tea or coffee?”

Jeno and Jaehyun shake their heads in synchronization and Sicheng chuckles silently at the sight. The two police men plop down on the sofa and Jaehyun takes a look at his phone. “Lucas and Mark texted they’ll be there in a minute.”

Jeno nods at the information, and as if on cute the door to the room opens, revealing the two doctors they were waiting for. Jungwoo and Jaemin step in while chatting about what seems the be the appointment they just came from. He immediately averts his gaze before the other can catch him looking. Letting out a sigh, he wonders when this tension between them will finally disappear.

Luckily Jaemin doesn’t seem to have noticed his gaze as he and Jungwoo walk over to Sicheng, having seemingly not noticed to two police officers in the corner yet. They chat briefly before Sicheng turns back towards them. Only then do Jungwoo and Jaemin finally notice them as Sicheng motions towards them.

“These are detectives Lee and Jung. We’re still waiting for two officers to arrive before we can start the interview with Nakamoto.”

They all greet each other with small bows, and just when they have finished doing so, the door flies back open once again. A small nurse guides Lucas and Mark inside before walking out again. Lucas takes a look around with a big smile on his face, greeting everyone loudly like usual. His gaze stops on the three doctors though and he freezes.

“Whoa, do all doctors look like models?”

Immediately Mark hits him in the side with his elbow, face beet red as Lucas lets out a grunt and the smaller apologizes vehemently for his partner’s behaviour.

Jeno bites his lips as he watches the whole ordeal and tries to hold in his laughter. At least they can always count on these two making any situation less awkward. His chuckles are interrupted though as he glances at the time and sighs before motioning for Jaehyun to stand up.

It’s time to face the devil now.

 

* * *

 

The documents scatter on the table as Jaemin throws them onto it in frustration. He immediately regrets the action though when he sees the mess he made and the fact that he will have to sort them later again. He lets himself fall back on his couch and rubs his face tiredly.

The interview today hadn’t bought them far at all. Nakamoto had spent the first half asking Sicheng questions to make sure that he was actually watching and made the officers his errand boys as they ran from room to room o deliver the answers. And the actual interview had also been just him leading them on and giving hints that they couldn’t understand. And it also hasn’t helped his own research.

Honestly he feels like a failure and is embarrassed that Jeno had to witness it. He looks at the papers lying on the floor and his couch table, all the information he had researched and combined from the files he had gotten and from his own memory.

He misses Jeno’s bright laughter, so wide his eyes almost vanish, and the small secretive smiles Renjun would send him whenever they shared an inside joke. God, he misses them so much.

From between the pages peeks out the letter he had stored there as motivation. He picks it up and gazes at it silently, thumbing at the creased paper.

_“You owe it to me, Jaemin.”_

He owes it to him.

 

* * *

 

The precinct bustles with activity like usual as Jaemin steps in with slight apprehension. The moment he enters he feels a gaze on him, and he can already guess who’s it is as he walks slowly towards Johnny’s desk at the front.

He tries not to be too bothered by the feeling of Jeno watching him and clears his throat to get the Sargent’s attention. The tall man looks up, only to do a double take when he sees that it’s Jaemin.

“Dr. Na, I’m surprised to see you here today.” Johnny greets. “Is something the matter?”

“Yes, actually I wanted to discuss something with you and Captain Lee about the Copycat killer.” Jaemin answers the taller. At that Johnny leans forward in interest and folds his arms on top of the table.

Jaemin breathes in and out calmly before looking back at the other man with serious eyes. From his back he can still feel Jeno’s gaze on him.

“I want to reopen the case of the Huang-family Killing.”

 

* * *

 

Taeyong rakes a hand through his hair, expression clearly stressed. In front of him on the table lays the documents of the connections Jaemin has drawn up between the Copycat and Huang case. “Do you know what this means?”

Johnny looks equally stressed where he stands in front of the desk, arms folded and eyebrows furrowed. “We will have to make another public statement soon, and maybe enforce a curfew for students.” Next to him Jaehyun scoffs but pats the Sargent’s shoulder consolingly. “They were killed inside their house, sarge. I don’t think a curfew will do.”

Jeno watches Taeyong as he leans onto the desk with his hands before he chances a look at Jaemin. He catches the other’s eyes and tries to smile reassuringly but it feels more like a grimace. Jaemin’s own smile in return is strained.

“Dr. Na, are you sure about this?”

Taeyong levels Jaemin with a serious look and Jaemin nods in return.

“I am.”

There’s silence between them before Taeyong turns towards Jeno. “What do you think, detective Lee?”

The other switches gazes between Jaemin and Taeyong before also nodding resolutely. “I agree with Dr. Na’s stand and think his findings are worth looking into.” At the end he turns to smile lightly at Jaemin, and Jaemin returns it hesitantly. Taeyong sits back down in his chair with another sigh and pinches his nose.

“And what are your thoughts about the connection to Nakamoto?”

“I think the killer might feel endangered by Nakamoto.” Jaemin gives his professional opinion. “I’ve seen cases like this already. A new killer takes the spotlight and attention, which makes them want to beat them in their own game. So they resurface and kill again.”

“So he will try to kill Sicheng to best Nakamoto.” Jeno concludes with a frown.

“Most likely.” Is the bitter agreement Jaemin gives. From the corner of his eyes he sees Jaehyun ball his hands into fists.

“We will have to increase and reinforce the patrols at night, and I want at least one officer with Dr. Dong at every hour now.”

Taeyong’s eyes are intense as he looks at all of them. Jeno feels bad for putting even more restraints on Sicheng and is about to voice his protest when Jaehyun suddenly holds his hand up.

“I can do it!” He quickly pulls his hand back down and moves it to rub his neck, cheeks slightly red. “Uh-I mean… Well, we’ve pretty much moved in together by now anyway.”

All eyes in the room turn towards Jaehyun who tries to play it off cool. Taeyong sighs and rubs his temples again before looking back up at them.

“Okay, Detective Jung, you will be assigned to Sicheng. Detective Lee, Dr. Na, I want you to update the new information into the files and talk with Dr. Kim about this. Sargent Seo and I will also look further into this before making a public statement.”

He levels them all with one last look. “This will be all for now then. Dismissed.”

They leave the office silently and Jaemin finally lets out the long held in breathe. A weight has been lifted off his shoulders, but now it feels like it has been replaced with an even heavier one. But at least a bit of the heaviness in his chest has lightened.

Next to him Jeno also comes to a stop and they both watch the precinct hustle and bustle.

“What made you change your mind?” He asks quietly before finally looking at Jaemin.

Jaemin keeps his gaze forward though as he answers. “I don’t know if Renjun is still alive.” He whispers. “But I know that there is still a lot that I haven’t told him yet and lost the chance to.”

Then he finally turns to look at Jeno, “And I want to make the person who took that chance from me pay.”

Jeno looks him deeply into the eyes, reading the heaviness and resolution in them and nods.

“We will catch him.”

Jaemin has never been one to hope, has lost the ability to nine years ago, but in that moment he wants to. Jeno reaches out to squeeze his hand, and for once Jaemin doesn’t flinch from the sudden touch. Instead he gives a small smile that Jeno returns. And it feels like things will be okay between them.

 

* * *

 

_Pink hair fluttering in the wind, a melodious laugh ringing in the air-_

_Jeno turned to smile brightly at Jaemin and Renjun as they laughed. About what, he didn’t know, didn’t remember. It was probably the story about how Jaemin’s grandmother reacted after he coloured his hair pink for a bet. But it was lost in the moment as they just kept laughing for the sake of it. Because the were young, because they were with each other and every moment was special._

_Next to him Renjun seemed to be glowing as they ran through the forest, talking and laughing about nothing and everything. The elder sped up to run in front of him, smiling brightly at Jeno over his shoulder._

_Then suddenly everything seemed to slow down and the only thing he was able to hear was his own heartbeat pumping in his ears. The leaves and bushes around them seemed to clear and reveal something dark and ominous._

_Renjun comes to a stop in front of the pigeonry and Jeno doesn’t know why the sight of the smaller’s back to him with the pigeonry looming in front of him unsettles him so much. He just know that it does._

_He tries to call out to the other, but his voice gets stuck in his throat. Then a metallic stench fills the air and Jeno can almost taste it on his tongue. A heavy pressure build on top of his shoulders, and when he looks down at his hands he can see them shaking with the force of it._

_His heart stops when he looks back up to see a giant tin soldier standing in front of Renjun. The smaller keeps his back towards him and Jeno has never so desperately wanted for him to turn around._

_A creaking sound fills the air as the wood scratches together when the tin soldier moves his arm. The pigeonry looms behind him as he takes his rifle from his back and point it at him._

_Jeno’s heart starts beating rapidly again, the sound pumping loudly in his ears but his body is frozen in place._

_The barrel of the rifle glints lightly and Jeno closes his eyes._

_A bang resonates in the air._

_Jeno slowly opens his eyes again but doesn’t feel pain anywhere in his body. The he remembers the person behind him. He turns around, limbs finally breaking into a run._

_Pink hair fluttering in the wind, the stench of iron, blood running freely-_

 

Jeno wakes up with a start, sweat running down his body and chest heaving with every breath. It takes him a while to calm down and a glance at the clock tells him that he should get ready before he meets Jaehyun at Sicheng’s place.

He rubs his eyes tiredly and wonders what left him so shaken once again.

 

* * *

 

“How have your night terrors been, Jeno?” Sicheng asks him softly as they walk down the halls of the clinic. Jeno turns towards him, wonders if the bags beneath his eyes are that heavy.

“I’ve actually just had a nightmare last night.” He confesses quietly so Jaehyun won’t hear and worry over nothing. “But I don’t remember what it was about again.”

Sicheng nods in understanding, but before they can talk anymore about it, Jaemin rounds the corner and Jeno’s hearts stops.

They have started to patch things up again between them, so the sight of the other shouldn’t shake him as much as it does. He wonders if it has anything to do with his nightmare.

Jaemin look up from the file in his hand and finally spots them. He walks over to them with a polite smile. “Ready for today’s session?” Sicheng asks him and Jaemin laughs silently. “Not at all.”

Then he comes to stand next to Jeno, greeting him with a light smile that he happily returns before they resume their walk down the hallway. They come to a stop in front of one of the interrogation rooms, Mark and Lucas already waiting inside it with Nakamoto.

Jeno squeezes his shoulder before he and Jaehyun lead Sicheng into the neighbouring room that was connected by a see-through mirror.

Standing in front of the door, Jaemin lets out a deep breath before entering.

Nakamoto keeps smiling widely at the mirror on the wall as he sits down in front of him. Mark and Lucas are each placed in one corner behind the Japanese male and Jaemin gives them both a tight smile in greeting.

“Mr. Nakamoto-“ Jaemin starts, but the other interrupts him, finally taking his eyes off the mirror.

“Please, I told you to call me Yuta.” He reminds him and Jaemin clears his throat.

“Yuta, today I’ve come with updates on the Copycat. We have now also linked the murder of the Huang family to him.”

“Oh?” At that Yuta leans forward with an even wider smile, if that is even possible, and Mark’s hand twitches.

“I love that case. I read every article about it back then.” He tells him happily and Jaemin tries not to show how much it irks him to hear someone talk about it like this.

“Then you must know a lot about it.” Jaemin concludes with a calm voice as Nakamoto leans back in his chair.

“I do. I also know how it connects to his current murders.”

At that Jaemin’s head snaps up. Behind Nakamoto Mark also looks at him widely in shock. In his mind he can almost see Jeno clenching his hands in anticipation behind the mirror. Nakamoto has never so clearly stated his knowledge on their cases before.

“Would you like to share that information with us?” He tries not to let the turmoil of emotions that run in him to show through his voice as he speaks. But Nakamoto just reclines in his chair lazily.

“Of course I can.” The Japanese male tells him and Jaemin can already feel something else coming. “Under one condition,” Nakamoto continues just as he had expected.

“I want to talk to Winwin.”

 

* * *

 

“No way will I allow you inside there with him.” Jaehyun protests vehemently and loudly. Beside him Jeno keeps silent, conflicted with his need to find the killer and the need to keep Sicheng away from harm.

“It’s the only way to get information from him, and you know it!” Sicheng argues, and they all have to admit silently that he has a point.

Jaehyun grips his hair in frustration before turning back towards the other. “Why does he still get to torment you so much, even though we already caught him!?” He cries out angrily.

Raising his hand, Sicheng grasps Jaehyun’s hand gently to bring it back down and they look at each other deeply.

“Why does he get to command us around like this? What if you get hurt?” The taller whispers bitterly and Sicheng smiles at him sadly.

“It’s going to be okay. Besides, you will be there right beside me, nothing can harm me.”

Jaemin and Jeno turn their gaze away, the scene too intimate and private for them.

 

* * *

 

Nakamoto grins widely at him, and Sicheng can only draw strength from the tight smile Jaehyun gives him from behind the other as he tries not to tremble.

“Mr. Nakamoto, we hav-“

“Winko-chan!” The Japanese male interrupts him with a loud cheer and he tries not too flinch at the nickname. “You look just as beautiful as I remember.”

In turn Sicheng averts his gaze, unable to keep looking at those manic eyes that keep haunting him in his sleep. “Thank you, Mr. Nakamoto. But I am here to talk about the Copycat killer.”

“Do you like fairy tales?” The other continues like he didn’t hear what Sicheng just said. “They’re really popular where I come from. But I think they wouldn’t be if people knew their original endings.”

Sicheng frowns at that, wonders if Nakamoto is once again just talking off topic to throw them off or giving them hints in one of his elaborate ways. “Mr. Nakamoto, I would appreciate it if-“

“Especially those stories from those two brothers! These are especially… grim.” The Japanese male grins at his own joke. Behind him Jaehyun clenches his fists angrily and Sicheng gives him a quick glance to tell him to calm down.

But in that short second that he doesn’t pay attention Nakamoto springs forward and grabs Sicheng by the collar to pull him close over the table top.

Jaehyun and Lucas immediately spring forward, but halt when Sicheng lifts his hand shakily to motion them to stop.

Leaning in even further, Nakamoto’s breath fans against his ear and Sicheng tries his hardest not to cry.

“You know, I’ve never been a fan of fairy-tale endings.”

He whispers into his ear before licking a long stripe across Sicheng’s jaw. Jaehyun and Lucas are immediately on him in that second and Sicheng falls back into his chair, trembling as he curls into himself. Jaehyun looks close to beating the Japanese male but holds himself back when he sees Sicheng’s shaken form. He quickly cradles him into his arms to calm him and lets Mark and Lucas handle the Japanese man. In turn Nakamoto just falls back with a serene smile as the two officers wrestle him onto the ground and put handcuffs on him.

In the other room behind the mirror Jeno and Jaemin watch the scene with wide eyes and somewhere along one must have taken the other’s hand. They hold onto each other, squeezing tight for support.

Jaemin and Jeno turn to look at each other, and Jaemin wonders if this is all worth it. Then he remembers that this is for Renjun, and for Renjun everything is worth it.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry that I haven't updated for so long and that this chapter is so badly written and boring orz  
> This story is rather hard to write, but I will update the next chapter sooner than this one!!! I think you're going to like the next chapter since shit goes a bit down there.  
> I hope I haven't lost your interest in during this long wait orz  
> And this chapter is once again full of foreshadowing. I also corrected a few mistakes and typos in the former chapters.  
> ALSO the feedback on this story has been amazing! Seriously guys, thank you for reading and supporting this story even though I write like a turtle.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry for any typos and that the end was a bit rushed, I'm still trying to get used to this writing stlye and I'm also still trying to feel out the story, some parts are still unclear for me as well (and I'm too stupid to think of a good plot with twists). Alert for very slow updates, sryyy.


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